one time a receptionist smiled at me and it made me physically better (and happy for once) for about a day. now imagine that but every day. fucccccccc

Yup, I went to a bakery and the cashier literally made my day. She was so polite, and smiled a lot. We will never get this

even though they do it just to be polite, imagine actually making her genuinely smile at/with you. i just wish it could have happen once

Legit suifuel

Just hand me the rope.

I hate how true this is.

One of the 2 quotes saved on my phone:

A smile is nature's best antidote for discouragement.  It brings rest to the weary,  Sunshine to those who are frowning,  And hope to those who are hopeless and defeated. A smile is so valuable that it can't be bought,  Begged, borrowed, or taken away against your will.  You have to be willing to give a smile away  Before it can do anyone else any good. So if someone is too tired or grumpy to flash you a smile,  Let him have one of yours anyway.  Nobody needs a smile as much  As the person who has none to give. -Dale Carnegie

carnegie was such a wise man. also i wish i had a good smile to begin with. maybe i could introduce some more happiness to the world. at least i could try make others be happy even though im never happy

when a classmate sent to me a pm saying happy new year I was smiling for more than half year. It was in 2015 and I still remember that moment

i remember moments like those too. although there are only a handful of them, they still affect me

It will temporarily i have been in the same situation, a lot of people (including me) had or have deeper issues than not being able to get a girl, and it messes with their self image.

Long story short it will cure depression if you use it as a catalyst to improve your mental state. If you expect it to change the while world for you, as soon as you break up you will fall deeper into despair.

It doesn't cure anything lol. I've been talking to a gorgeous girl, we've become pretty close, and all it's done is make my anxiety severely worse and made me suicidal again. I'm worse than I was before. You're a retard.

It depends. If we are talking about the physiological illness, yeah, medicine could be the only way to help.

But, most of the people aren't depressed because they are sick. They are depressed because they have bad lives. It's not an illness it's just a state of mind, a mood. Only thing they need is to become happy would be having a good life.

Yeah there are philosophies like Buddhism and Stoicism but, I don't think they find a proper solution. Buddhism says "LDAR", and Stoicism says "If you don't want to be depressed then don't be depressed".

So IMO the only option is to have a better life, and to have our fundamental desires met.

It always pisses me off how normies maintain this narrative that people just spontaneously become depressed for unknown reasons. Or they'll say it's because of chemical unbalance or something like that. Why is your brain chemically unbalanced? No reason at all, it just feels like it.

In reality people are depressed because their life sucks. They react predictably to their environment. Pretending to be happy is delusional and a real mental illness.

Or they'll say it's because of chemical unbalance or something like that.

That is true. It's genetic. Nothing but pills will "help". What is also true that u can become deppressed coz of bad life/situations. They're both bad, but the latter can be temporary... Until your life improves, until u cope good.

Buddhism says "LDAR", and Stoicism says "If you don't want to be depressed then don't be depressed".

This is very true, but I don't think it's the whole picture. Both buddhism and stoicism offer great views about the human condition, but can't fix biology or culture.

Nuance. A supportive relationship is extremely important for people going through mental illness. It doesn't have to be romantic - family and friends are also important. But a romantic partnership is one of the more common ones.

But a partner is not a magical cure-all. They're not a god or goddess; they're a human being who also has their own problems and will suffer with yours. You can't expect someone to be the only one who gives you happiness, who "saves" you, because it doesn't lead to a healthy relationship. There have to be other sources of happiness in your life other than your partner.

I've worked in mental health and seen a whole spectrum of romantic relationships, from incredibly supportive to toxic. Most are not at one end or the other, but are a mixture and fluctuate based on stimuli. Even supportive relationships can end up being a burden and breed resentment.

Psychosocial factors such as the absence of a support network are almost always a contributor to mental illness of all kinds - including both reactive and major depression. Ongoing loneliness, sadness, anxiety, learned helplessness - all things many incels express - lead to cognitive and emotional changes which are shared with many labelled mental disorders. Dividing depression into "biological" and "non-biological" is a major misunderstanding of both the difference between reactive and major depression, and how psychiatry works in practice.

Your original post is an extremely idealistic and simplistic view of what a relationship can do. This kind of thinking can be harmful when the reality sets in: your partner is a person, and long-term relationships require work from both sides.

A long term relationship requires much more than just attraction. Of course, attraction is part of it, but there are many more factors that are important and require effort. Things like improving oneself, recognising negative behaviours that impact your partner, knowing how to compromise, making time for each other when one is stressed, putting one's needs aside to help one's partner, coping with your partner's family (whom you might not like), working out problems together...the list goes on. These are all parts of a relationship.

If you are a generally isolated person and put a lot of pressure on your partner, what happens when your partner becomes less available due to work, family, stress etc.? What happens if they go through their own struggles and aren't your happy, smiling girlfriend/boyfriend who brought light to your life originally? No one goes through life as nothing but a supportive sunbeam. Everyone has needs and bad days.

Alllllll dayyyyyy

No, I'm saying that sexual attraction is not the only thing required for a long term relationship. Being a partner is very different to casual dating.

Completely agree with you. Relationships change over time too, because people change.

I've been struggling with mental health issues for the last couple of years and my husband has helped me through. It took a lot out of him, and took a toll on his own mental health. I'm so grateful that he was there for me, but I know it is both counterproductive and selfish of me to use him as a crutch and that I need to get back on my feet again. Which I have.

A relationship can't function with one person always giving and the other always taking - it has to work both ways. And finding the balance is part of what makes a great relationship.

It doesn't have to be romantic - family and friends are also important.

No compromise. Romantic relationships are necessary to a happy life for most people. I'm not talking about friendships and family. I am explicitly talking about romantic relationships.

Reproduction is a biological narrative for every creature on earth. And while there are some people that are genetically suicidal and aren't happy in relationships, they are also people who enjoy cutting themselves or doing all kinds of sick shit. Most people absolutely have romantic desires, and especially incels.

Nothing you said contradicted what I said, which is simply that romantic relationships are not the only type of relationship that are important, and that supportive relationships of all kinds are helpful in mental illness.

Sure buddy, make some more excuses.

Generally this is true. But if someone's mental illness is stemming directly from a profound lack of emotional intimacy (as would be the case for most members of r/braincels) there really is no other option.

Well if your problem is medical depression or bipolar then getting blowjobs or cuddles probably won't fix that.

Source: had a really bad 2017, developed hypertension, panic attacks, hair falling out / greying faster than usual, sex drive dropped down to zero and having a Girlfriend at the time wasn't making this stuff any better.

mgtow on cope watch

Lol this is not true

it doesn't make the future better only the present

Top fucking kek at those three possibilities.

i would argue that having someone to give/receive love too certainly makes you happy and is beneficial for ur mind state. but there is a danger if when you rely souly on that sort of connection for happiness and a clean state of mind .

if u rely that much on someone else for validation and happiness it will set u up for heartbreak- doesn't matter how hood looking u are, just what happens in life u know?

And she gets pregnant you have to raise her kids and 20 years later shes ugly and fat but youre stuck with her for the rest of your life . Tell me would you still want her when shes no longer young or beautifull or youll monkey branch on a teen like so many men do?

they'd be your kids in this scenario right, not cuck kids?

Your kids

so that parts not really a negative

Nope

kek

Whats kek

reeeeeeee

GF only one holding me down from insane

Lol sure that’s how it will feel for the first few months to a year. Then you have other things to worry about: kids or no kids, struggling to pay rent, who’s parents do we spend time with on holidays, the way she leaves hair everywhere, you being messy. I can go on and on. And these are issues in a relatively stable relationship.

It’s not like the movies and it doesn’t always feel like that. Would I prefer being single over being with my SO? Hell no, but don’t get it twisted, shit ain’t that easy.

High IQ comment

wow those are some very pressing issues, I feel for you my man.

Love that sarcasm, obviously these are the lightest issues we deal with, but shit like that causes disagreements, stress, and arguments.

Then you have other things to worry about: kids or no kids, struggling to pay rent, who’s parents do we spend time with on holidays, the way she leaves hair everywhere, you being messy. I can go on and on.

Wow, what a miserable existence. Hair everywhere. Dying completely alone sure sounds like the better option!

Well I did say I’d obviously rather be with her than single. But a lot of you guys have this idea that’s it’s all sunshine and rainbows in non incel land.

Except she probably won’t be beautiful, she probably won’t be 18, and she’ll probably be a cunt in some ways you didn’t realize when you first dated her. Speaking as an incel who’s had girlfriends before...it’s not some magical experience.

But it’s still way better than being alone. I wouldn’t be bummed out about my inability to attract women if it weren’t better than being alone. And there’s a sense of existential, evolutionary angst and dread that comes over a man who can’t get women, that goes away when you have a partner. It’s replaced by other sources of frustration, sure, but I’m realizing now that those pale in comparison to the misery of being incel.

How can you be interested if you've had multiple girlfriends?! Goddamn fakecel.

Because I’m involuntarily celibate.

Bullshit, if you've had multiple girlfriends then you're not even a mentalcel, at best you're volcel.

2 girlfriends, one cucked me and another didn’t even want to refer to me as her boyfriend and eventually stopped having sex with me and said she had no attraction to me

Dude this place is so fucking weird with its definitions of what "incel" means. So if you've EVER had a gf before, you're no longer incel? Even if you got cucked? No matter what you look like, unless you're physically deformed, you've got a few million looksmatches out there. Even blackops2cel, with all his strangeness, just needs to build up his figure and fix his hair. The real problem is the body that refuses to work out, the mind that refuses to summon its wit, the brain that doesn't want to find a job. The heart that can't get over its own loneliness. If you can overcome these [significant] hurdles you will surely advance.

But you've probably heard all that before, so here's something you've genuinely probably never thought about.

Life is a big fucking rat race. Everyone is prone to ambition, everyone wants to find their place among others. Some people are directly domineering, others silently accrue value through art or creativity. But everyone is trying to beat out everyone else in the giant competition of society. The big fish eat the little fish, and there is always a bigger fish.

Now, as an "incel", you're towards the middle of this food chain. We'll assume you, the reader, is NEET. You're short, Asian [actually not a bad thing but people here seem insecure about it], unattractive. Certainly at one of the bottom rungs of western society, but above homeless people and children at least. Bam, you've already beaten 15-20%. On a global scale, you're beating the HELL out of the poor third-worlders and warring tribes starving in their mud huts. You are now beating 50-60%.

But western society can be a meritocracy of sorts. Say the right things, develop the right skills, and you can get a better job that pays more money. More money means more time to devote to your hobbies. Even if it's nerdy shit, even if you blow it all on computers and games, you earned that money, and you earned that right to spend it. Sharpen every aspect of yourself. Learn another language, and if that sounds like a pain in the ass, learn to speak English more fluently. Learn group dynamics and how to properly hold a conversation. Find your place in the group. Research fashion and dress better. Beating 75%.

Don't do these things just because you want to get laid - that attitude is ultimately destructive. Do them because they prove your superiority. By following through on this, you're proving that there is more to you than any of the rest of the faggots here, trapped in this blackpill poison well. Get a nice house and a nice car. If you can't be driven by love, drive yourself with greed and competitive spirit. You will prove that you are a cut above the majority of people. And along the way, you'll lose the will to care whether you get laid or not.

The fact that you're capable of getting a girlfriend is enough to disqualify you. You're more of a failed norman if anything, you could probably escape your so called inceldom if you tried.

Okay okay okay. I have clinically proven borderline. I've cut myself and tried commiting suicide. I still struggle with depression everyday however, I didn't cut myself for ~3 years.

I am currently in a very stable relationship with a beautiful girl I truly love yet I still have anxiety attacks, thoughts of cutting myself and alcohol problems.

I had girlfriends. I had ONS. Yet I never was magically healed.

Obviously I am not saying kind words and affection isn't helping, however you need so much more than a smile of a cute girl.

I've been following this sub for quite some time (r/incel before that) and the thing I noticed most is that most people are so fixed on "getting a girlfriend". You can't force that. It won't work if you try to force it. Most things happen when you least expect it.

Yea, I have severe OCD (clinically diagnosed when I was teen and then reevaluated a few years ago) and I used to be addicted to opiates and heroin. Life sucked when I was single and it still sucked when I had a girlfriend that I had sex with. And now I'm off of drugs and single and it still sucks just as bad as before.

I don't get where people get this idea that being in a relationship will just magically cure everything.

Because we aren't all fuck ups and lead pretty good lives outside of our extreme loneliness and isolation.

Lol- the fact that you think a relationship will immediately remove that feeling from your life shows how naive you are.

I'd love to hear from you when you're in an abusive relationship and you feel isolated and lonely when you're in the same room as the person you "love".

I'm not stupid enough to stay in an abusive relationship so I think I'll be fine. Also please tell me more how you know more about my feelings than I do, I'm sure you're an expert on diagnosing people over the Internet.

Lol because you can sense an abusive relationship right from the start- it doesn't slowly build and escalate or anything.

Fuck-what are you like 18 or 19 mate?

You can't be this stupid, right? You're IQ can't actually be this low, you have the reading comprehension of a 2nd grader. Where did I say I could sense abusive relationships? I said I wouldn't stay, but that doesn't fit your narrative, does it? Your argument is so weak and pathetic you have to lie about the truth to actually make one. Or maybe you are just that stupid.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Drug addicted people can get girlfriends but the people here can't. JFL at the personality meme

If it makes you feel better, the other person did drugs too.

I've seen the way you guys talk about addicts (and obviously women). Don't fucking sit there and tell me you would ever date a woman who had a history of drug use even if they were sober now. No. You would write them off as "roastie".

You motherfuckers are all "volcels"- the ridiculous standards you have for women, the repulsive shit you say and then you have the audacity to come on the Internet and play the victim.

Play the victim because you can't help but act like a manchild and remove yourself from this toxic echo chamber for more than 10 minutes and accept that the problem might lie within you.

Not everyone has Borderline personality disorder

???

Most things happen when you least expect it.

Fuck you for continuing this bullshit. This is the exact reason why we are all so mad. Genetically privileged fuckers like you have women constantly thirsting after them and you tell ugly dudes "just wait bro, girls will come to you when you stop chasing them". Also newsflash: Your depression and internal struggles only made you more attractive to women. They love seeing the "emotionally broken Chad" they can "fix". You know what happens when we show emotions to women? They laugh at us and shame us for it.

Let me say it again. Fuck you and Fuck your advice. You will never understand loneliness like we do, isolation like we do. Throughout all your "depression" you've had a person that loved you by your side and supported you, while we got laughed at and kicked while we were down. Now Fuck off our sub.

Your own happiness shouldn't rely on someone else. Putting that responsibility on someone else is emotional blackmail.

That's why if most of these guys get a gf, they'll still be miserable, and so will she.

Yep, It's a train wreck waiting to happen.

Op is confirmed cuck-tier.

Being in love is great (but complex, not constant euphoria). Fucking a girl is fun but nothing special.

Lol have you even touched women's skin before? You talk like this was all the first time for you.

That's what I meant. Have you never felt up a hot girl before?

It's fun, but not as euphoric as you make it out to be. Skin isn't always soft. Embraces aren't always so comforting and supportive. Maybe if it's your first time the novelty factor is big.

Even an LTR with a girl you love is not all sunshine and goddess rainbows like you describe. There are ups and downs, moods, emotions, conflicts, changes in energy. The passionate intensity fades after the honeymoon period and as you age. It's not just passion and supportive embraces all the time. That's Hollywood fantasy.

Anyone who's had real experience knows this. Only virgins put pussy on the pedestal so much.

and by "goddess" I meant she was probably a 9.5

Sounds like you're the one who hired a prostitute to explore touching a woman for the first time.

Guys who are capable of landing real 9.5s don't post on reddit and incel subs, fakeChad.

You're not the only illiterate person on reddit.

So this is paradoxical for me-

If talking about sex or intimacy is suifuel for incels, how the fuck do they not kill themselves after watching porn?

Former Incel here, getting a gf instantly cured my depression. I had other problems still but I never had that feeling of helplessness that I had every single day before that.

Oh and after we broke up, guess who's back here shitposting, depressed as fuck?

Then you break up because you find out she has been banging chad the whole time

Can confirm, dating solves every aspect of your life. Once you pop that cherry, man, you are just clear sailing, like me and mine have literally never fought, my depression has comepletely left me, I've lost weight and gotten a higher paying job. I got accepted to a university after they already denied me (just goes to show the femoids go all the way to the top), I was even able to get myself off of my medication, lifes been getting only better. I have literally been euphoric every day for the past 8 months, and have not had a single negative thought. I am never anxious, self conscious, or afraid, in fact I've lost all my past phobias, and I think it's actually helped my cat allergy. You just gotta get there, there's hope for everyone and when it happens you're set for life, and if you agreed with all this them you seriously need yo reconsider what you value in like because p much everything I just said except for being in a relationship is a lie.

Making friends tends to help.

Because that isn't love.

That's infatuation.

bitches are theraputic. yeah it won't cure your mental illness but imagine how nice and secure it feels to hold someone while you drift off to sleep. nestling your head right at neck level with her, so close that the familiar smell of her hair reminds you of all the other times you laid there in comfort with her.

Pour one out for them...

Honestly talking about sex would be less of a suifuel than this