Listen sweetheart, he just explained to you how your mind works. Personality doesn't matter to you, not really. Deny it all you want, men are waking up darling. :))))
Cuckolding a man is the moral equivalent of raping a woman. In case any normies are reading this and are “wow just wow”-ing and shaking their heads....debate me on it, faggots.
It threatens a man’s most precious evolutionary resource (his paternal investment) just as rape threatens a woman’s most precious evolutionary resource (her ability to choose the father of her offspring). Neither should be allowed in a civilized society.
If the conversation is purely from an evolutionary standpoint, women have only recently been able to determine the father of their offspring, and it doesn't really impact evolution that much. Men's most precious resource has always been the DNA. Raising the child has very little evolutionary impact for the man. Rape isn't really, morally, about choosing who raises genetic offspring.
When you bring civilized society into the equation, they seem even less equivalent. "Cuckolding" a man is a form of deception, more like emotional fraud. Rape is violence, assault against a person with intent to exert domination.
Both are theories of evolutionary biology. Women want to select men with the best DNA even if it would mean cuckolding a man, and men want to spread their seed across as many women as possible, even if it ment rape.
stop giving that excuse away so easy, they dont give it to the "best dna", they give it to the most attractive man. whats reproductively selected for by women is by no stretch the "best" of anything beyond appearance.
stop giving that excuse away so easy, they dont give it to the "best dna", they give it to the most attractive man. whats reproductively selected for by women is by no stretch the "best" of anything beyond appearance.
Thank you! This website is so cuckolded it's scary. Even braincels and mgtow are all about pretending women have some transcendent ability to "select the best men" when we have all the evidence in the world that "best" means "attractive" even if he's a pedophile rapist in jail.
However, its not. And whatever informed that opinion is horribly misguided. Clearly, you are so awkward with women that you haven't had any success, and rather than looking internally to address the problem, you've simply blamed it on something you cannot change - your face. You need to rethink why you are here, and where your real problems lie.
I have dated many (yeah, you heard me: MANY) less-than-attractive men because of their sense of humour, their smarts, their general demeanour, their sense of adventure. I wouldn't date a guy who sat behind his computer all day bitching about..."foids". Major red flag.
I wouldn't date a guy who sat behind his computer all day bitching about..."foids".
And a normie dude wouldn't date a buttergolem, incelqueer cunt who bitches about the behavior of men she's never met all day. He'd wonder why she has nothing better to do with her time and why she doesn't pursue any meaningful hobbies or sports.
I'll bet my last dollar on three possible cases. The most likely case is that those men you dated would be rated by most as more attractive than you. The second, less probable possibility is that that was the best you could at the time. The last and least probable case is what you said.
In any event your SMV is lower than what you think it is.
To add to that, awkwardness translates subconsciously as danger to many women. Are you awkward due to lack of experience, or are you awkward because you want to add them to the people suit you have in the basement?
Certain traits register as bad. Do you slouch because you have social anxiety issues, or some genetic disorder.
Plus the herd mentality. Things that are too different get pushed out. In modern humans, this gets rationalized as other things.
So it isn't as simple as being physically "attractive." That may be where it can start, but it isn't the only element. I'm fugly, but I've been successful a few times because I had some other charm. No idea what...
I'm a terribly ugly man and I do everyone of those for my SO. The point is you do it when it's warranted, when you already have a connection, not to just wear down a woman until she loves you. That's is not how it works
Your SO probably just puts up with it rather than gets tingles from receiving the messages though. She sees its another goodnight text and maybe ignores it or texts back a goodnight with no xxx or whatever. Meanwhile she's back to thinking about Chadly Dhadderson.
like yeah there are women like this who treat men like absolute shit and its disgusting but how close-minded do you really have to be to go around saying "ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS DURR HURR" just because you cant get laid and are angry at the world
Yes they like shit like that from the person they fancy, obviously! It doesn't matter if you're ugly or handsome, it matters if they like you or not. I had moderately good looking, very fit guys with very bad personalities stalk me and it wasn't any less creepy than if an ugly guy had stalked me. In contrary, it was scarier bc he was all muscles and shit and could make me pass out with just a slap
Yeeess, for the hundredth time, handsome guys can be creepy too. That doesn't prove anything. Water is wet.
The relevant question is whether non-handsome guys can possibly be perceived as not creepy?
The relevant question is whether non-handsome guys can possibly be perceived as not creepy?
Yes.
You can't really read too much into the retweet, since it's just a fast easy joke. The original is sincere, and it's about "clinginess" not "creepiness," in the context of a relationship. Post Malone is saying that they like lots of texts and attention from someone they are already dating, even though some people find that suffocating.
That level of attention from a stranger would be terrifying, not just creepy.
Billie kinda switches gears to talk about creepiness from someone you aren't dating. She didn't put that much thought into it and so you probably shouldn't read too much into it.
I wasn't really talking about the original image, I don't really care about that one. I was replying to the above comment who pointed out that handsome guys can be creepy too, which is an overused and irrelevant argument that misses the point.
To be fair, lots of people on this thread were arguing that handsome guys can't be creepy, and that the only difference between creepy and non creepy behavior is looks.
Its flattering if you're attractive and high value. It's creepy and supplicating if you're unattractive.
Looks are absolutely everything. Anything a good-loking man does is hot, cute, great. Anything an ugly man does is awful, hateful, disgusting.
In response to that argument (only looks matter, there is nothing creepy or not creepy about the behavior), pointing out that handsome guys can be creepy is pretty reasonable.
But yes, I have had non-handsome guys hit on me and have not thought it was creepy at all.
To be fair, lots of people on this thread were arguing that handsome guys can't be creepy, and that the only difference between creepy and non creepy behavior is looks.
Yea, I know and I get equally tired of that argument.
But yes, I have had non-handsome guys hit on me and have not thought it was creepy at all.
Fair enough. But I, and many other guys, often experience that we apparently creep out girls by just...existing. We're not hitting on them, we're not talking to them, we are often not even consciously taking note of them.
They tell you that you are creeping them out? Or complain to management or call the cops? (not trying to question your experience, just genuinely want to know what happened- it sounds like it sucked.)
Nothing of that sort, luckily. I just seem to attract irritated looks whenever I enter a room or walk past girls. And there's usually a belt of empty seats around me at university...
It's possible that you are over-interpeting that response.
Or maybe you're not, but the reaction isn't because of perceived creepiness. (I don't tend to cast irritated looks at people I find creepy, I tend to avoid eye contact and kind of freeze up.) I look annoyed at people if they're tapping a pencil, or wearing perfume I dislike, or standing in the door of the subway instead of moving to the middle of the cart.
If no-one has told you that you seem creepy or threatening, why do you think that you seem creepy? Or are you using a different definition of creepy than I'm thinking of?
or standing in the door of the subway instead of moving to the middle of the cart.
I can relate... >.>
But yea, often when it happens I'm not doing anything. I just walk past them or enter the room or something. They simply didn't have the time yet to find anything annoying about me (which would be fair enough).
If no-one has told you that you seem creepy or threatening, why do you think that you seem creepy?
I don't know. It's just the impression I get. I might indeed be over-interpreting things but I just generally don't feel welcome around people. Not even when I'm interacting with them or if I actually enter their social bubble, just by merely existing in their environment.
You might be overinterpeting, or you might not be. It's hard to tell without being there. People can definitely get paranoid about their social reception and have it create a feedback loop. But you've said elsewhere that you don't feel confident in your ability to read emotions, so it seems that there is a strong possibility that you are reading things that aren't there (or that everyone hates your cologne.)
It's worth considering the possibility that you're not right about this, especially since, if it IS true, you can't do much about it.
I guess it could be that I'm just being paranoid, I don't know.
I just know that it's probably not my cologne because it loses all it's potency really quickly and it's kinda disappointing because I like the smell but because it's a bit of a waste I never wear any... :(
If there's no way of knowing if it is true, then it might be emotionally healthier to assume it's not. I mean if it is true, you can't do anything about it anyway. And like I said, the possibility of a feedback loop is very real.
Well, yea, it would be healthier. But the problem is that, at least in the world I constructed in my mind, creeping a woman out can have severe repercussions so assuming you're creepy and staying away from women is safer...
It's something I'm currently working on with my therapist. I'm still feeling stuck but at least we're working on it.
Pfff no, I'm just weird. Because of a lively online discussion with my friends, I wanted to find someone from the incel boards to reach out to, and you were so by far the best one.
Well, also my main reddit activity prior to this was /relationships so I demonstrably love trying to help random strangers on the internet. Like I said, primarily weird.
I wanted to find someone from the incel boards to reach out to, and you were so by far the best one.
Although I just kinda lurk here because people seem to understand my situation but at the same time I feel uncomfortable with all the general hate and misogyny...so I'm not sure I a "real" incel, hope it still counts :P
Although I just kinda lurk here because people seem to understand my situation but at the same time I feel uncomfortable with all the general hate and misogyny
I know! I stalked your comment history before deciding to reach out. I don't know how to offer help to the people who are self-identified incels, steeped in the lingo etc... and if I tried they would probably be really really mean to me.
I do think hanging out on these boards is sort of upsetting and warping for everybody, regardless of level of sexual experience. One of my friends was looking at the .me board out of curiosity and he said it made him start to think "Am I a sub8? Is there no hope for me? Are women terrible?"
But you made the point that it's hard to find people who are understanding, and I wanted to give you the best alternative source of understanding that I could. I'm not perfect! But I've had enough practice with friends to know that advice isn't always welcome, sometimes you have to just offer an ear/hug/milkshake.
I don't know how to offer help to the people who are self-identified incels, steeped in the lingo etc... and if I tried they would probably be really really mean to me.
Could be. To be fair, I've gotten less fond of well-meant advice over the past. I can see how it's getting frustrating to always just read the same basic, presumptuous and in their implications insulting pieces of advice all the time (I do take very good care of my personal hygiene and take insult in advice that assumes otherwise).
I think this is why things worked out for me with my current therapist. He didn't instantly try to start fixing what he thought was the problem but just let me talk and figure things out for myself for over a year. When things feel unfair, overwhelming and/or desperate, you often simply need an open ear first and actual advice much much further down the line...
I do think hanging out on these boards is sort of upsetting and warping for everybody, regardless of level of sexual experience. One of my friends was looking at the .me board out of curiosity and he said it made him start to think "Am I a sub8? Is there no hope for me? Are women terrible?"
I know. And the fact that I know but can't seem to stop is even more upsetting. I don't hate women and I don't think I ever will. But my outlook on my appearance and my attractiveness seems to become bleaker and bleaker. I mean, I always knew I wasn't all that good looking but I never paid attention to my bone structure before...
But you made the point that it's hard to find people who are understanding, and I wanted to give you the best alternative source of understanding that I could. I'm not perfect! But I've had enough practice with friends to know that advice isn't always welcome, sometimes you have to just offer an ear/hug/milkshake.
And I highly appreciate it. I can't promise it alone will be enough or that I won't "relapse" into self-hate and despair but no matter what, you provided a piece to the puzzle and I'm grateful for that.
Well, I've definitely never given you any of the standards! And I hope I haven't gone over the line from listening ear to advice tooooo often. I just hate to see you firmly believing stuff that either definitely isn't true (no woman would ever want to sleep with a virgin because experienced men offer a better experience) or might not be true (you are creeping everyone out by walking into a room.)
The bone structure stuff is getting increasingly hilarious. They are so amazingly strict about "the only things women care about" and yet just within the Marvel Cinematic Universe of insanely handsome famous men you have a variety of faces with eyebrows slanting every which way- and women drool over all of them. It's interesting- the idea that women care about looks is absolutely true, and perhaps it's a hard reality to face if you were holding on to the old idea of women being less shallow than men. But I think that believing in this bizarre, manifestly untrue idea of the hunter/predator skull is just as much a way of hiding from that reality as believing that women are sexless beings willing to look past everything physical.
Anyway, I've been spending more time in this environment than I should (and on the internet in general). I've always loved investigating subcultures but this one definitely has a bad effect on my head.
And I highly appreciate it. I can't promise it alone will be enough or that I won't "relapse" into self-hate and despair but no matter what, you provided a piece to the puzzle and I'm grateful for that.
Awww! I mean, "any good at all" is a lot better result than I hoped for. Looking at your posts it seems like you have an interesting and cool life (archeology is a glamour job to the rest of the world even if it's not as glamorous as we think it is.) Anyway, we all gotta do what we can, so I'm gonna go for a bike ride!
And I hope I haven't gone over the line from listening ear to advice tooooo often.
I actually like your advice. You seem to know what you're talking about instead of just sounding like a fortune cookie...
Anyway, I've been spending more time in this environment than I should (and on the internet in general).
To be honest, any time spent here is probably too much.
Looking at your posts it seems like you have an interesting and cool life (archeology is a glamour job to the rest of the world even if it's not as glamorous as we think it is.)
Thanks. I get a lot of positive feedback when I get to talk about archaeology (or anything else I'm interested in), even though I sometimes start to ramble. And yet, I constantly tell myself that I have boring hobbies and interests. Another dissonance between my mind and the reality I actually experience, I guess...
Anyway, we all gotta do what we can, so I'm gonna go for a bike ride!
So fucking true. "I like vanilla ice cream!" "TAKE THIS FUCKING BLUEBERRY ICE CREAM TAKE IT TAKE IT!" "But I don't want blueberry ice cream? Get that shit away from me?" Then what, you become the ice cream forcer? She doesn't like you, get over it.
I'm 35 you retard. You don't have to believe me. I don't give a shit. You're likely just over half my age. Ask me something only a 35 year old would know.
You don't give a shit, then set up a test to prove your age. You clearly do give a shit. Plus, you turn immediately to aggression. Who hurt you that this is the way you communicate?
Billy Bob Thornton said after a while fucking Angelina Jolie was like fucking the couch.
Also, counter argument to incels. Why was Angelina with Billy Bob Thronton? She could have had any Chad. No need for betabux. Why was Julia Roberts with Lyle Lovett?
Oh no, how could she find it not cute, when someone ugly and annoying is harassing her? Does she not get a say in who gets to contact her? WTF is wrong with you, assuming that just because she is a female, she must accept your harassment without question??
I wanted to find someone from the incel boards to reach out to, and you were so by far the best one.
Although I just kinda lurk here because people seem to understand my situation but at the same time I feel uncomfortable with all the general hate and misogyny...so I'm not sure I a "real" incel, hope it still counts :P
98 comments
1 qwep-mi 2018-05-10
Anything you do as an ugly man is bad
1 literallyarealperson 2018-05-10
Bones > personality.
It's just how women are.
1 smallpurpleorb 2018-05-10
Most of you all have shit personalities, judging by the absolute drivel I'm seeing on this subreddit.
1 SocialistTyrone 2018-05-10
Thank god you have a good personality.
1 hugeostrichegg 2018-05-10
Yes, if personality=facial structure
1 beef-jerky 2018-05-10
Listen sweetheart, he just explained to you how your mind works. Personality doesn't matter to you, not really. Deny it all you want, men are waking up darling. :))))
1 GuyFromDaStore 2018-05-10
Women just want to give the pussy to the best DNA available. Nothing personal.
1 bcat124 2018-05-10
Men just want to spread their DNA regardless of anyone else's consent. Nothing personal.
See how the appeal to nature can quickly fall into uncivlised barbarism?
1 norwood_victim 2018-05-10
this. People like to cherry-pick concepts from evolutionary biology when it suits them but they don't want to accept the barbaric side of nature.
1 iQ9k 2018-05-10
High IQ post
1 AyeThatsAGoodNagger 2018-05-10
Cuckolding a man is the moral equivalent of raping a woman. In case any normies are reading this and are “wow just wow”-ing and shaking their heads....debate me on it, faggots.
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
What does "Cuckolding a man" mean, exactly, so I can decide if I want to be the faggot to debate you.
1 AyeThatsAGoodNagger 2018-05-10
cheating on your husband and tricking him into raising another man’s offspring
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
Okay. That sucks and would be of varying degrees of shitty. How do you morally equate it to rape, though?
1 AyeThatsAGoodNagger 2018-05-10
It threatens a man’s most precious evolutionary resource (his paternal investment) just as rape threatens a woman’s most precious evolutionary resource (her ability to choose the father of her offspring). Neither should be allowed in a civilized society.
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
If the conversation is purely from an evolutionary standpoint, women have only recently been able to determine the father of their offspring, and it doesn't really impact evolution that much. Men's most precious resource has always been the DNA. Raising the child has very little evolutionary impact for the man. Rape isn't really, morally, about choosing who raises genetic offspring.
When you bring civilized society into the equation, they seem even less equivalent. "Cuckolding" a man is a form of deception, more like emotional fraud. Rape is violence, assault against a person with intent to exert domination.
1 deadmedium 2018-05-10
"the ability to choose the offspring of your child doesnt impact evolution that much"
:2
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
That either.
1 iQ9k 2018-05-10
Both are theories of evolutionary biology. Women want to select men with the best DNA even if it would mean cuckolding a man, and men want to spread their seed across as many women as possible, even if it ment rape.
1 LeavingHumanityBehin 2018-05-10
No, go spread your sperm. Nothing stopping you. Inb4 "muh police". fuck the police
1 deadmedium 2018-05-10
stop giving that excuse away so easy, they dont give it to the "best dna", they give it to the most attractive man. whats reproductively selected for by women is by no stretch the "best" of anything beyond appearance.
1 GroundbreakingJaguar 2018-05-10
Thank you! This website is so cuckolded it's scary. Even braincels and mgtow are all about pretending women have some transcendent ability to "select the best men" when we have all the evidence in the world that "best" means "attractive" even if he's a pedophile rapist in jail.
1 deadmedium 2018-05-10
even "misogynsts" cant break free entirely from the "women are wonderful" effect innately programmed in men. -_-
1 trevmon 2018-05-10
have to overcome reptile brain and have sex with the smartest men, incels, to spread better intelligence dna
1 smallpurpleorb 2018-05-10
if you all were the smartest men, you would have found women by now. But you haven't, so clearly, you aren't.
1 trevmon 2018-05-10
all about face not smarts
1 smallpurpleorb 2018-05-10
However, its not. And whatever informed that opinion is horribly misguided. Clearly, you are so awkward with women that you haven't had any success, and rather than looking internally to address the problem, you've simply blamed it on something you cannot change - your face. You need to rethink why you are here, and where your real problems lie.
I have dated many (yeah, you heard me: MANY) less-than-attractive men because of their sense of humour, their smarts, their general demeanour, their sense of adventure. I wouldn't date a guy who sat behind his computer all day bitching about..."foids". Major red flag.
1 35yoGeneticTrash 2018-05-10
And a normie dude wouldn't date a buttergolem, incelqueer cunt who bitches about the behavior of men she's never met all day. He'd wonder why she has nothing better to do with her time and why she doesn't pursue any meaningful hobbies or sports.
1 based_meme 2018-05-10
I'll bet my last dollar on three possible cases. The most likely case is that those men you dated would be rated by most as more attractive than you. The second, less probable possibility is that that was the best you could at the time. The last and least probable case is what you said.
In any event your SMV is lower than what you think it is.
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
To add to that, awkwardness translates subconsciously as danger to many women. Are you awkward due to lack of experience, or are you awkward because you want to add them to the people suit you have in the basement?
Certain traits register as bad. Do you slouch because you have social anxiety issues, or some genetic disorder.
Plus the herd mentality. Things that are too different get pushed out. In modern humans, this gets rationalized as other things.
So it isn't as simple as being physically "attractive." That may be where it can start, but it isn't the only element. I'm fugly, but I've been successful a few times because I had some other charm. No idea what...
1 deadmedium 2018-05-10
"intelligence" isnt selected for by women when external pressure isnt applied to their sexual strategy via government or social standards.
in a sexually liberated society, women simply have no incentive to act on anything but their base instinct when selecting a mate.
1 Nfc92 2018-05-10
I'm a terribly ugly man and I do everyone of those for my SO. The point is you do it when it's warranted, when you already have a connection, not to just wear down a woman until she loves you. That's is not how it works
1 rileymils 2018-05-10
Post face prove
1 asdasalesforce 2018-05-10
Your SO probably just puts up with it rather than gets tingles from receiving the messages though. She sees its another goodnight text and maybe ignores it or texts back a goodnight with no xxx or whatever. Meanwhile she's back to thinking about Chadly Dhadderson.
1 trevmon 2018-05-10
guaranteed she has never orgasmed from him
1 ChancePalpitation 2018-05-10
Your gf is using you for betabux, she dreams of Chad
1 IncelSlayerZero 2018-05-10
Post your pic or I'm calling bullshit. Next thing you know you'll tell us she's a real Stacy lol.
1 futmut 2018-05-10
At this point in our society we better kills ugly babies since they are born...so they doesnt have to go through all this shit and sufference
1 asdasalesforce 2018-05-10
Most babies are cute tho. It's not until adolescence that ugliness shines through - the most brutal age for it as well.
1 rachelcorriepancake 2018-05-10
If parents are ugly manlets chances are the baby will grow up to be an ugly manlet.
1 trevmon 2018-05-10
ugly babies are very common
you have one but people are too polite to tell you the truth
1 Marcadius_ 2018-05-10
Sparta?
1 Touchmethere9 2018-05-10
This was almost coherent English
1 HeckAndRespect 2018-05-10
Billie is a legend leave her out of this
1 djdhinfkdlf 2018-05-10
Cosby the fuck and enjoy
1 trevmon 2018-05-10
that Spanish fly
1 Inc33333l 2018-05-10
Its flattering if you're attractive and high value. It's creepy and supplicating if you're unattractive.
1 kexity 2018-05-10
dkjhdgj ok like i dont fucking get it
like yeah there are women like this who treat men like absolute shit and its disgusting but how close-minded do you really have to be to go around saying "ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS DURR HURR" just because you cant get laid and are angry at the world
1 trevmon 2018-05-10
"dkjhdgj "
start this post off by having a stroke?
1 kexity 2018-05-10
ah yes, pointing out something irrelevant to avoid the fact that someone’s proving you wrong. a classic, truly.
1 trevmon 2018-05-10
pointing out facts, call an ambulance man I'm worried for you
1 MozzerDozzer 2018-05-10
He's right though. What does that suppose to mean?
1 IncelSlayerZero 2018-05-10
Wymyn suck, eat shit.
1 lonelyrommel1998 2018-05-10
Honestly thats fair
1 nofaceholdingheart 2018-05-10
Yes they like shit like that from the person they fancy, obviously! It doesn't matter if you're ugly or handsome, it matters if they like you or not. I had moderately good looking, very fit guys with very bad personalities stalk me and it wasn't any less creepy than if an ugly guy had stalked me. In contrary, it was scarier bc he was all muscles and shit and could make me pass out with just a slap
1 SyrusDrake 2018-05-10
Yeeess, for the hundredth time, handsome guys can be creepy too. That doesn't prove anything. Water is wet. The relevant question is whether non-handsome guys can possibly be perceived as not creepy?
1 drivingthrowaway 2018-05-10
Yes.
You can't really read too much into the retweet, since it's just a fast easy joke. The original is sincere, and it's about "clinginess" not "creepiness," in the context of a relationship. Post Malone is saying that they like lots of texts and attention from someone they are already dating, even though some people find that suffocating. That level of attention from a stranger would be terrifying, not just creepy.
Billie kinda switches gears to talk about creepiness from someone you aren't dating. She didn't put that much thought into it and so you probably shouldn't read too much into it.
1 SyrusDrake 2018-05-10
I wasn't really talking about the original image, I don't really care about that one. I was replying to the above comment who pointed out that handsome guys can be creepy too, which is an overused and irrelevant argument that misses the point.
1 drivingthrowaway 2018-05-10
To be fair, lots of people on this thread were arguing that handsome guys can't be creepy, and that the only difference between creepy and non creepy behavior is looks.
In response to that argument (only looks matter, there is nothing creepy or not creepy about the behavior), pointing out that handsome guys can be creepy is pretty reasonable.
But yes, I have had non-handsome guys hit on me and have not thought it was creepy at all.
1 SyrusDrake 2018-05-10
Yea, I know and I get equally tired of that argument.
Fair enough. But I, and many other guys, often experience that we apparently creep out girls by just...existing. We're not hitting on them, we're not talking to them, we are often not even consciously taking note of them.
1 drivingthrowaway 2018-05-10
They tell you that you are creeping them out? Or complain to management or call the cops? (not trying to question your experience, just genuinely want to know what happened- it sounds like it sucked.)
1 SyrusDrake 2018-05-10
Nothing of that sort, luckily. I just seem to attract irritated looks whenever I enter a room or walk past girls. And there's usually a belt of empty seats around me at university...
1 drivingthrowaway 2018-05-10
It's possible that you are over-interpeting that response.
Or maybe you're not, but the reaction isn't because of perceived creepiness. (I don't tend to cast irritated looks at people I find creepy, I tend to avoid eye contact and kind of freeze up.) I look annoyed at people if they're tapping a pencil, or wearing perfume I dislike, or standing in the door of the subway instead of moving to the middle of the cart.
If no-one has told you that you seem creepy or threatening, why do you think that you seem creepy? Or are you using a different definition of creepy than I'm thinking of?
1 SyrusDrake 2018-05-10
I can relate... >.> But yea, often when it happens I'm not doing anything. I just walk past them or enter the room or something. They simply didn't have the time yet to find anything annoying about me (which would be fair enough).
I don't know. It's just the impression I get. I might indeed be over-interpreting things but I just generally don't feel welcome around people. Not even when I'm interacting with them or if I actually enter their social bubble, just by merely existing in their environment.
1 drivingthrowaway 2018-05-10
You might be overinterpeting, or you might not be. It's hard to tell without being there. People can definitely get paranoid about their social reception and have it create a feedback loop. But you've said elsewhere that you don't feel confident in your ability to read emotions, so it seems that there is a strong possibility that you are reading things that aren't there (or that everyone hates your cologne.)
It's worth considering the possibility that you're not right about this, especially since, if it IS true, you can't do much about it.
1 SyrusDrake 2018-05-10
I guess it could be that I'm just being paranoid, I don't know.
I just know that it's probably not my cologne because it loses all it's potency really quickly and it's kinda disappointing because I like the smell but because it's a bit of a waste I never wear any... :(
1 drivingthrowaway 2018-05-10
If there's no way of knowing if it is true, then it might be emotionally healthier to assume it's not. I mean if it is true, you can't do anything about it anyway. And like I said, the possibility of a feedback loop is very real.
1 SyrusDrake 2018-05-10
Well, yea, it would be healthier. But the problem is that, at least in the world I constructed in my mind, creeping a woman out can have severe repercussions so assuming you're creepy and staying away from women is safer...
It's something I'm currently working on with my therapist. I'm still feeling stuck but at least we're working on it.
1 drivingthrowaway 2018-05-10
I'm really happy to hear that! You seem like a super cool person and you don't deserve to live in a mind prison.
1 SyrusDrake 2018-05-10
Heh, thanks, I'm doing my best. I think you're pretty awesome too for constantly trying to help a random stranger on the internet.
1 drivingthrowaway 2018-05-10
Pfff no, I'm just weird. Because of a lively online discussion with my friends, I wanted to find someone from the incel boards to reach out to, and you were so by far the best one.
Well, also my main reddit activity prior to this was /relationships so I demonstrably love trying to help random strangers on the internet. Like I said, primarily weird.
1 SyrusDrake 2018-05-10
Although I just kinda lurk here because people seem to understand my situation but at the same time I feel uncomfortable with all the general hate and misogyny...so I'm not sure I a "real" incel, hope it still counts :P
1 drivingthrowaway 2018-05-10
I know! I stalked your comment history before deciding to reach out. I don't know how to offer help to the people who are self-identified incels, steeped in the lingo etc... and if I tried they would probably be really really mean to me.
I do think hanging out on these boards is sort of upsetting and warping for everybody, regardless of level of sexual experience. One of my friends was looking at the .me board out of curiosity and he said it made him start to think "Am I a sub8? Is there no hope for me? Are women terrible?"
But you made the point that it's hard to find people who are understanding, and I wanted to give you the best alternative source of understanding that I could. I'm not perfect! But I've had enough practice with friends to know that advice isn't always welcome, sometimes you have to just offer an ear/hug/milkshake.
1 SyrusDrake 2018-05-10
Could be. To be fair, I've gotten less fond of well-meant advice over the past. I can see how it's getting frustrating to always just read the same basic, presumptuous and in their implications insulting pieces of advice all the time (I do take very good care of my personal hygiene and take insult in advice that assumes otherwise).
I think this is why things worked out for me with my current therapist. He didn't instantly try to start fixing what he thought was the problem but just let me talk and figure things out for myself for over a year. When things feel unfair, overwhelming and/or desperate, you often simply need an open ear first and actual advice much much further down the line...
I know. And the fact that I know but can't seem to stop is even more upsetting. I don't hate women and I don't think I ever will. But my outlook on my appearance and my attractiveness seems to become bleaker and bleaker. I mean, I always knew I wasn't all that good looking but I never paid attention to my bone structure before...
And I highly appreciate it. I can't promise it alone will be enough or that I won't "relapse" into self-hate and despair but no matter what, you provided a piece to the puzzle and I'm grateful for that.
1 drivingthrowaway 2018-05-10
Well, I've definitely never given you any of the standards! And I hope I haven't gone over the line from listening ear to advice tooooo often. I just hate to see you firmly believing stuff that either definitely isn't true (no woman would ever want to sleep with a virgin because experienced men offer a better experience) or might not be true (you are creeping everyone out by walking into a room.)
The bone structure stuff is getting increasingly hilarious. They are so amazingly strict about "the only things women care about" and yet just within the Marvel Cinematic Universe of insanely handsome famous men you have a variety of faces with eyebrows slanting every which way- and women drool over all of them. It's interesting- the idea that women care about looks is absolutely true, and perhaps it's a hard reality to face if you were holding on to the old idea of women being less shallow than men. But I think that believing in this bizarre, manifestly untrue idea of the hunter/predator skull is just as much a way of hiding from that reality as believing that women are sexless beings willing to look past everything physical.
Anyway, I've been spending more time in this environment than I should (and on the internet in general). I've always loved investigating subcultures but this one definitely has a bad effect on my head.
Awww! I mean, "any good at all" is a lot better result than I hoped for. Looking at your posts it seems like you have an interesting and cool life (archeology is a glamour job to the rest of the world even if it's not as glamorous as we think it is.) Anyway, we all gotta do what we can, so I'm gonna go for a bike ride!
1 SyrusDrake 2018-05-10
I actually like your advice. You seem to know what you're talking about instead of just sounding like a fortune cookie...
To be honest, any time spent here is probably too much.
Thanks. I get a lot of positive feedback when I get to talk about archaeology (or anything else I'm interested in), even though I sometimes start to ramble. And yet, I constantly tell myself that I have boring hobbies and interests. Another dissonance between my mind and the reality I actually experience, I guess...
Hope you had fun :3
1 youreallmeatanyway 2018-05-10
Seriously op, how would it be different than if you said "I like handjobs. Unless its by a guy. Then i dont like it"
(Other than the fact that you dont get handjobs, i mean)
1 justforlulzandkeks 2018-05-10
.....is this a serious comment
1 smallpurpleorb 2018-05-10
So fucking true. "I like vanilla ice cream!" "TAKE THIS FUCKING BLUEBERRY ICE CREAM TAKE IT TAKE IT!" "But I don't want blueberry ice cream? Get that shit away from me?" Then what, you become the ice cream forcer? She doesn't like you, get over it.
1 EvilBananaManRD 2018-05-10
Looks are absolutely everything. Anything a good-loking man does is hot, cute, great. Anything an ugly man does is awful, hateful, disgusting.
1 Wannabe_Human 2018-05-10
That hit me hard
1 SocialistTyrone 2018-05-10
How good must it feel that you tell women you're a virgin but they just don't believe you like in that picture lmao.
1 based_meme 2018-05-10
gulp
Good news is that this basically confirms that men and women aren't so different after all.
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
No matter how beautiful or sexy someone is, somewhere there is someone tired of their shit.
1 35yoGeneticTrash 2018-05-10
Cope.
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
Trope.
1 35yoGeneticTrash 2018-05-10
Tiredness is a temporary state.
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
You must be young. I've been tired for the last decade or so without letting up.
1 35yoGeneticTrash 2018-05-10
You must be braindead. Read my username.
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
Yeah, you're young. I have rashes older than you.
1 35yoGeneticTrash 2018-05-10
I'm 35 you retard. You don't have to believe me. I don't give a shit. You're likely just over half my age. Ask me something only a 35 year old would know.
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
Why is this so important to you?
1 35yoGeneticTrash 2018-05-10
Do you have serious comprehension issues? This is the second time you've shown an inability to read.
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
You don't give a shit, then set up a test to prove your age. You clearly do give a shit. Plus, you turn immediately to aggression. Who hurt you that this is the way you communicate?
1 35yoGeneticTrash 2018-05-10
Jesus, you incelqueer cunts are the most unoriginal people on reddit. Can't you ever come up with something of your own?
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
Not sure I qualify as an "incelqueer cunt." Possibly a "cunt." It's English, dude, and you fit the statement.
1 35yoGeneticTrash 2018-05-10
Eat shit, cunt. Blocked.
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
Poor baby.
1 morthond 2018-05-10
Billy Bob Thornton said after a while fucking Angelina Jolie was like fucking the couch.
Also, counter argument to incels. Why was Angelina with Billy Bob Thronton? She could have had any Chad. No need for betabux. Why was Julia Roberts with Lyle Lovett?
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
There are women out there who like the parts of a man that don't droop with age.
1 smallpurpleorb 2018-05-10
Oh no, how could she find it not cute, when someone ugly and annoying is harassing her? Does she not get a say in who gets to contact her? WTF is wrong with you, assuming that just because she is a female, she must accept your harassment without question??
1 dylang92 2018-05-10
That’s not the issue, the issue is that she is saying that behavior is okay if you’re attractive.
1 Nfc92 2018-05-10
Well I tried, good luck in life guys I'm just going to go off and be happy . TA TA
1 Wannabe_Human 2018-05-10
That hit me hard
1 based_meme 2018-05-10
gulp
Good news is that this basically confirms that men and women aren't so different after all.
1 BigRedKahuna 2018-05-10
Poor baby.
1 SyrusDrake 2018-05-10
Although I just kinda lurk here because people seem to understand my situation but at the same time I feel uncomfortable with all the general hate and misogyny...so I'm not sure I a "real" incel, hope it still counts :P