Why the "self-improvement" advice aimed at incels is a scam and an expression of contempt towards us.

44  2018-05-09 by advancedatheist

15 comments

Should have been hamstrs but o’rwell

Sex is your cheese. The alternative is to not improve yourself. You can lie down and die, and let the other rats eat you. Or step outside the maze, and find your own truth and way to survive.

The only self-improvement which works on incels is the noose.

If you're healthy and able-bodied, but women in general aren't attracted to you in your given state, I don't see what "self-improvement" you need.

Instead, the "self-improvement" advice is really a form of goal post shifting to make you STFU.

The meaning of life and fulfillment as a complete person? Thinking you aren't complete unless you find your female half isn't healthy. That could stand some improvement. Neediness isn't attractive.

Plenty of smart men who have thought about this would disagree with you. And finding your "female half" is implicit in Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, both in his original version and in the more current evolutionary version.

There is also the more practical matter that men live in a world full of women, and we need a set of skills for living with them competently that includes having sexual relationships starting at an appropriate age. As we can see from Ellen Pao's tweet the other day, the corporate HR department is biased against incels in the work place that it's not against sexually experienced men who are considered "normal."

A lot more smart men who have thought about this would agree with me. Even though we are a social species, we don't need another person to complete us. Men do need a set of skills to live with women. They need a set of skills to live with men. Being a good lover is part of the skills necessary to have a successful romantic relationship. But nobody is guaranteed a successful anything. Success is earned.

Ellen Pao's tweet was not about sexually inexperienced men. It was about a culture of disinformation, hate, and violence that people call incels.

I'm amused that it's only taken one generation for men to start acting like Disney princesses. You think prince(ess) charming is going to come save you with her vagina. You won't be complete without your one true love. A wicked witch put a spell on you, and made you undesirable, and only the kiss of a Stacey can save you from eternal slumber. You've all become helpless little girls that can't stand on your own.

Ellen Pao's tweet was not about sexually inexperienced men. It was about a culture of disinformation, hate, and violence that people call incels.

The problem isn't disinformation, hate and violence per se. We have a whole political culture in the U.S. of people who promote that practically every day in the media against certain countries, and they are considered respectable members of the journalistic profession or the Deep State.

No, if some incels allegedly promote disinformation, hate and violence (and I'm not persuaded that that is at all common, after hanging around incel forums for several years), they can get into trouble for doing that because they have picked politically protected targets with means that are acceptable in other contexts.

BTW, the fact that the Incel Question has unglued so many people over the past couple of weeks suggests to me that something about us causes existential terror in normies. We remind them of death somehow, and our "mortality salience," as psychologists call it, activates people's anxiety buffers to try to tranquilize their terror.

No, if some incels allegedly promote disinformation, hate and violence (and I'm not persuaded that that is at all common, after hanging around incel forums for several years)

Deep belly laugh. There's your problem. You think the stuff on this sub is factual, loving and peaceful. That's high level detachment from functional society. What kind of woman would complete you, Cruella Deville?

And yeah. That's pretty terrifying. Incels terrify women because they are intectually gross, socially incompetent, dependent, obtuse, and amazingly arrogant. That's how society sees incels. And it's because of the beliefs, not the lack of sexual experience. Can you blame them for being scared?

You guys do remind me of death. Particularly with all the suicidal talk I see around here. That's my main concern.

The only self-improvement that works on incels is the noose, to be honest.

Many (probably Most) women aren’t impressed by wealth and possessions. Being passionate about your career and being self sufficient are enough.

What planet are you living on? There's numerous Stacies dating ugly old dudes because they're rich.

Sure. It happens. But it's not something that most women prioritize. It's also not a good plan unless you're a business genius.

The problem is that you view self improvement as a means to getting a girlfriend. Getting a girlfriend can be a result of this, but self improvement should be the aim.

Perfection doesn't exist. Improvement is the true human goal. Everyone has room to improve. Unfortunately, incels aren't unique in that they have to improve one thing after another.