Desperate try hard right here. JFL! This guy is laughed at.

https://youtu.be/8N0TJyd3OgU

how tall is he?

5'5" RIP. I'm even heightmogged by that try hard. Why even try?

how is that 5'5 FUCKKKKKKKKKK

so how the fuck we supposed to pick up girls?

I don't try at all to avoid being laughed at.

same. ive already been laughed at too much

He's 5'2 and 1 eighth lol

He's like 5'1

he is 155

He is smaller than me then. JFL!

Someone else said he is 5'5"

Wtf he is 3 inches taller than me. It's fucking over.

you'll be fine dude, just dont listen to any advice you get from the cowards in this sub

He's 5'1 lol

Ikr was lol af

Imo he'd be Chad if he was over 6ft

Hahaha fucking hell when will these manlets learn

who is laughing, are you dumm

LMFAO this dude’s girlfriend probably has a dominatrix fetish and makes him watch while she fucks the tallest guy she can find on tinder

I really fucking hate cuckolds

His gf laughing at him is a clear sign that he is definitely being cucked.

She actually seems pretty nice to him in that video, she gives him props for the girls he managed to pick up and when he gets called short, she asks him how that made him feel. You guys call everything and everyone that contradicts your dogma coping and cuckhold.

There is no way she's dating him. That faggot's videos are staged anyway, I wouldn't put it past him to hire some cunt to pretend to be his girlfriend for a video.

But didn't he get a bunch of numbers and info?

Probably a bunch of fake numbers lol

Too right. You try to be something and you will just be put down deeper than you were before.

"Nigga did I just catch you tryna be shit?" slap

...but seriously I hope something goes right for you soon.

Who knows. I gave up on hope long ago so now im just waiting to die however long it takes.

CONFIDENCE is built on real concrete experiences. If you are "confident" in something, but you're an absolute failure at it, then you're not "confident" - you're just arrogant and delusional.

Normies will never admit this.

For sure. Although I will say - it's possible to lack confidence in something that you should be confident with.

So I guess the take-away is just to be/act confident about anything that you have a genuine claim to. Because it's pretty easy to lack self-confidence even in situations where you should excel.

Except I've never bombed an interview because I know I'm the best person they could hire. The confidence just comes naturally.

Nah your analogy is bs. Try this: you come to the interview knowing you are underqualified, lack experience and there are 10 better men here any sane employer would pick before you.

To feel confident in such situation is pure delusion. You can maybe fake confidence but the employer will just laugh you off. Thats the proper analogy for us.

I think my comment blew right over your head, sweety.

> Although, pro tip: Don't apply for jobs you're not qualified to do.

we dont, ie we dont approach girls we arent "qualified" to. So we dont approach any women.

I think you're still entirely missing my point. I wasn't trying to write out an analogy of that. I was simply stating a case where confidence can help.

You incels are the ones always crapping on about how there's more to you than rape and hating women and that kinda shit.

Well, one of those other topics is frequently "sucking at life, in general" - as in, not getting a job - is a common complaint.

At any rate, I'm wasting my time. The fact you believe I was trying to use that as an analogy for your inability to get laid shows me two things A ) You're a fucking moron and B ) You think everything is about you getting sex

if your analogy wasnt about sex then it isnt any relevant to the discussion of getting sex via confidence.

You need to think broader, it has that required connection. See, but it wasn't a metaphor, I was talking literally about a job interview.

But if you fake the confidence required to get a job that you are qualified for, then you'll eventually become more naturally confident about the abilities you do have. Finally - having a job, income, independence, etc - goes some way in increasing your value as a potential mate.

Is this shit really that fucking hard for you to follow?

Yes it is, because lacking confidence in abilities we should be confident about isnt our problem. Its being unconfident about abilities we actually dont have.

Your story might be relevant for sb but not for us. If i take it literally not as analogy, i will just say i have nailed evvery interview in my life si far precisely because i knew i was good for the job. I and im sure other incels too can asses very well where we stand with females and thats we are unconfident

god you're thick

We had this discussion about confidence many times. It's only because of these dumb normies that we have to explain it again.

Not true, nobody is good at anything to begin with, you have to fake confidence until you gain it.

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C949BffWfLw

haha green elephant fellow post-soviet guy

BRATEEEESHKA

YA TEBE POKUSHAT' PREEN'YOS.

HULI TI OBOSRALSYA MUDAK BLYAT?

I'm from Ukraine btw А ты?

Я тоже.

It's over for русскийcels

Fake it until your friends realize there’s something off about you and consistently flake on you for months.

Yep.

Then they are not your friends

Been a couple decades. Suppose it's only a little while before my real friends show up some time.

tfw being Russian and randomly seeing this video here hahahha

SHEESHKA VSTANEHT - VOZBOODEEMSYA.

kek I saw you're from UA. EE here tbh tbh

Братишка - Чад, Поехавший - инцел

Капитан тогда Стейси, а Полковник - Бекки.

А ещё "Еотова" Скоро превратим Реддит в Двач

Or at the very least keep trying and have enough self-awareness to learn from your mistakes.

This is very true. Girls are attracted to confidence even if your faking, even if they KNOW your faking. I've gone so far as to tell a girl that I fake confidence and it STILL helps.

Never had to fake anything and just was myself, with boundaries, such as not calling everyone who didn't instantly like me a degenerate or something like that, they might wanna try that too.

Healthy people do know that. Most of them don't have the words to explain it when they're young. They just recognize the lack of confidence, and know that's a problem.

Yeah, which is exactly why most of the advice about being confident usually recommends starting with baby steps to build it up...

Yes!! Been treated this way a lot

There's more than one kind of confidence.

Yeah, you're going to get made fun of if you display some kind of undeserved swagger.

That's still better than staying in your room 99% of the time because you've decided you're incapable of ever having a positive experience out there.

This is sort of a weird opinion on the matter, but to me, confidence is a decision. You can just decide to be confident, doesn't have to be backed up by anything. Anyone in any situation can be confident.

However confidence doesn't help in the dating world much, but I disagree that confidence is a product of validation.

Confident without anything to base it on is just arrogance.

And so what? I'd rather be arrogant and happy than self-deprecating overly-humble and miserable. Wouldn't you?

Arrogance is underrated.

Arrogance is underrated.

Nope, it's overrated as fuck and comes across as douchey.

The truly arrogant don't care how it comes across. That's the joy.

Would you rather like yourself no matter what and come across as a jerk, or have your self- worth be at the mercy of other people's thoughts about you (or your perception thereof)?

That's an easy choice.

You're aware that arrogance is also another character trait that turns people off, thus contributing even more to the loneliness folks here face?

I would argue that the truly arrogant don't get lonely.

Never met a truly arrogant person who wasn't pretty much alone by virtue of being a complete fucking prick to everyone around them, so there's that.

Arrogance is an internal state. If you're manifesting outward behavior based on this, then you run a risk of alienating people.

Keep your internal and external worlds separate.

Lol more like over rated

This is a real TruthPill. Always knew this subconsciously. Thanks for bringing it out.

Uhm...confidence would mean that you wouldn't care what anonymous shitheads on the internet think about you.

Ugly guy with confidence = creep, misogynist, rape advocate.

Hot guy with confidence = charismatic, charming, good personality, showers daily.

What self-deprecating language. Ugly guys with confidence are not seen by most as creeps, misogynists, or rape advocates. They are just seen as confident and content with just being, and therefore a little more attractive. Stop projecting and just own your own personhood.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

smh, it's like these fuckers don't realize we were bluepilled once, we were confident once, we did everything they did, and even better, but we couldn't get anywhere do you subhuman looks

Or more realistic thing happened: pretty much tried it once, didn't work, back to self hatred and wallowing in sadness.

LUL.

i've only been blackpilled for 2 months, and 2 months before that I was making fun of incels, so wtf was I doing for most of my life?

Smh this got me laughing for a solid 2 minutes.

So, pretty much as long as you tried to be confident?

Mate confidence is the result of having something that the world can't take from you. It isn't a result of being accepted by society for being attractive or desirable enough, although it may appear to work that way. But that type of "confidence" is entirely situational, and therefore fragile. If your view of yourself is based entirely upon how the world reacts to you, you'll never have the peace of mind that true confidence brings, even if you find yourself temporarily "winning" at life. This sort of mentality is actually really common in good-looking, socially "successful" people. I know guys who could fuck the entire Miss America contestant stage on Friday, but if a woman gives them the cold shoulder on Tuesday, they're miserable, completely worthless in their own secret mind. They might be pretty decent at hiding it, but you can trust me that beneath the surface they're incredibly unhappy. Because who they are is based on how other treat them, and for people like that, love, attention and acceptance is a drug that offers only a tragically brief high and a gruesome comedown. Dude there's no pussy in the world good enough to compensate living like that.

Look, I'm going to lay out some facts from my life here. This is not bragging, just relaying information. I attract a lot of women, definitely more than my looks justify. I'm pretty short, and unmuscular. On a good day, I'm "cute." Just that, nothing more. Why do I draw so many women, then?

Because for whatever reason, I learned pretty early that sex and attention from women aren't a solution or a cure for insecurity. It couldn't change the way I felt about myself. The only thing that could was leading a life that makes sense to me, and that I'm unapologetically proud of. Thankfully, I was lucky enough to understand and take in early the fact that what you think of me doesn't matter at all compared to what I think of me. So my whole life, I've done my own thing. And that just draws people, men women old young and insane. It intrigues them, I think because people who actually do that are kind of a rarity, now more than ever in the facebook age. All this having been said, let me also say I don't get laid very much. I don't really care for one night stands or fuck buddy situations. Precisely because I did learn quickly that just because a woman wants to fuck me for a while one night doesn't mean I'm in any way special. It doesn't mean that she feels connected to me or that my feelings are safe with her. It means she thinks I'm kinda cute and what the hell, she doesn't have anything better to do right then. Ooh wow, what a big win for me. Sex is fine, but I really do think that the way it's mythologized by some of you guys is a mistake. An honest one, because it's sort of become an emotional fetish to the rest of society, as well. Like it'll fix something within you. Nope! At best, it shuts up that awful inner monologue of "you're an ugly failure" for a little bit. But trust me dog, it comes back.

Sorry, I didn't mean to write so much. I really do hope that someone on this board full of guys who are genuinely suffering can maybe take some of this in, and that it'll help. That maybe what was true for me will also be true for you. I think there's at least a chance; I don't think I'm so damn weird that this shit only applies to me. I am a "normie" after all. ;)

Live a life you love. Cast aside anything you can that weighs you down. If you do that, will you get more attention from women? Probably, yeah. But what I'm really trying to convey to you is that if you do, that attention won't matter nearly as much. It'll be neat; something for your brain to play around with. But the real satisfaction, the real *joy* comes from the fact that you're living your life in that special way that only you can. Life is no longer just something that happens to you; it's something that you *do(. It'll still be difficult at times. And depressing and stressful and all of that. But now there's a greater point to it all, and god does that help weather the storms.

COPE

You do realize that trying to call this a cope is, in fact, you yourself just coping with the cognitive dissonance it makes you feel? You WANT to believe what the OP say is saying, so you shit on this very rational person's response, because it would be much harder for you to realize that abbie_yoyo is right and you've got a lot of thinking to do. It's easier for you to choose the path that "even if I have confidence, no one is going to fuck me anyway," rather than say, "y'know what, maybe the normies have a point." You all want to wallow in your own sadness rather than do the work of trying to be better.

Thank you for actually being sane. It's sad to see a well thought out piece totally dismissed by those so far deep in their personally dug pit of despair they can only communicate through meme.

COPE

I like this man, thank you TruthInBlack. It's not even a good cope it's a fucking normie cope.

Good one, bro, except I have nothing to cope with because I'm not one of you. Just a regular guy here (idk if I'm a normie or a Chad to you, but either way those labels are meaningless) trying to help you all see that your toxic way of looking at the world is hurting you more than it's helping.

You're only helping yourself m8

Most likely because incels can't even be helped and will just take the easy way out of being sad and doing nothing, and the only people who would listen to his advice aren't incels, lul.

Nailed it.

So it's fruitless effort, meant to inflate his ego.

If you aren't incel it means you got laid before so definitely a chad.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Ok.

You do realize it literally is cope lol. Doesn't mean he has no point bro. I soaked it all in don't worry.

His experience has no relevance to incels.
He forgot that even his "true confidence" had a foundation in his past successes. It's easy to say that the failure is fine when you have memories of success.

It's also easy to say the failure is fine when there are no major consequences for failure. His consequence is only not having sex. An unattractive man is rejected or ridiculed by most of society for his looks and inability to attract women.

This "very rational person" is clueless and made no point that an unattractive man can benefit from.

Dude, he could have said anything and you would have rejected it. At a certain point, you guys just want to be miserable because it's easier than admitting to yourself that it's not your looks that are holding you back, it's you. You're not hopeless because of how you look. You're hopeless because you're hopeless. Because no matter what anyone says, you'll come up with a reason why, no matter what, you will never be able to get laid. At a certain point, involuntary celibacy becomes voluntary. Stop blaming the rest of the world.

We're rejecting it because he clearly lives in a bubble.
Looks do hold men back in society. They also reduce women's social standings, but to a lesser extent.
If he ignores these facts, then his advice has no use.

This is about more than getting laid. They receive lesser treatment in every aspect of society because of their looks: career, the legal system, platonic socializing, everyday interactions, you name it.

Tell that to all of the conventionally unattractive men I know who are in relationships and successful in their careers and generally well-liked by the people they meet.

Your insecurities are holding you back, not your looks.

Were they born before 1985? How tall are they?

Sure. Of course there's discrimination. But the reason you're not getting laid isn't just your looks, it's your personality. Quit being such an antagonistic contrarian asshole and maybe you'll have better luck, bud.

Good to see that there are other normal people on this sub trying to spread some sanity.

This is extremely well written, and something everyone (not just incels) should read.

Fuck off.

Got em there, what a rebuttal

What'd you say, you little pal? Bro, I'll do anything to be your friend, you got that?? Anything! You wanna talk all bad over a computer screen, huh?? Say it to my face, friend! Idc, I'll travel anywhere on EARTHto slap the shit outta your back while I tell you I respect you and commend your incredible accomplishments! Hug me IRL dude, what's up?!!

Uh what

People that are truly successful with the oppositte sex have one thing in common: they never dwell on a rejection, they all laugh it off. They don't see further than a foot away, they live in the moment and are always aware there is someone new around the corner. I have never met someone that you describe, who is highly successful but falls apart at a rejection. Sorry to burst that bubble, but that's not how the operators operate.

I wasn't trying to describe someone who is highly successful, I was trying to describe someone who might be mistakenly viewed as confident when in actuality are very, very insecure and needy. Maybe I fucked that up; I wrote way more than I had planned to so maybe some of it was muddled or unclear.

I have met two people like this, but I don't know a lot of "chad" types. One guy was male model GQ material, and he was the most insecure guy and actually didn't think he was good looking. Girls fell over in heaps around him and he literally couldn't see it. Some girl had dumped him and he was just a mess. I was on a wilderness trip with him and watched the girls in the group going nuts over him and he was just in this dark cloud and couldn't even recognize it.

What a lot of the virgin incels don't get is that life is incredibly hard for a lot of different types, including "chads". It's not nearly as simple as they want to believe. I have been friends with several guys who had the looks and the attitude, and it is disguisting to see how easy it is for them form a normies perspective (me).

I know guys who could fuck the entire Miss America contestant stage on Friday, but if a woman gives them the cold shoulder on Tuesday, they're miserable, completely worthless in their own secret mind.

This is pure fiction

I can assure you, it's not even exaggeration. I know you have no reason at all to believe me, but consider that nor do I have any reason to lie to you. This is what happens when somebody's "confidence" is based on (read: completely dependant upon) ego, meaning their idea of how the world views them.

Then why do they get so many girls if they're that insecure and miserable?

Because everybody has insecurities, even traditionally attractive men?

So it doesn't matter? Why people tell us to be confident then?

What? No. I think I misunderstood your original question.

Also, because being confident and learning to love yourself leads you to a happier life. That’s worth WAY WAY more than getting laid, believe me.

Hold your head up high and face the world. If you don’t love yourself, why would you expect anyone else to? That’s why we say be confident

You didn't. Why would you tell people to be confident when being confident has no effect on them being able to get laid?

I didn’t say it will have no affect on their chances of getting laid, but I agree it’s unlikely they will be slaying it at miss America pageants.

But being confident in yourself, and maybe learning some new skills and hobbies that you enjoy, that’ll bring up your self-esteem, and yes, maybe even help you get laid.

But that’s the problem: believing that getting laid is the end goal to being a happier, more fulfilled person. It’s not.

It is. The entire world revolves around sex.

I thoroughly disagree. With this mindset, you believe that your self-value should constantly sway up and down based on the time since your last sexual encounter?

What makes you, you? What value do you bring to the world? What impact are you having on society, on others that you meet on a daily basis?

These questions should better define you than “when did you last get laid?”

Yes. A person's worth is define by how many girls he's able to attract. It's just a fact.

Never seen 'swingers'?

It is fiction. I've had plenty of stud friends and rejections means nothing. Rejection affects normies far more deeply than "Chads".

They don't give a fuck because he will have another by tomorrow

Story time: Last summer I dumped my GF of five years and I had a huge Tinder binge lasting from August till january. I had no intentions of things going well, but I was damn suprised. I lost count pretty, I had five or six regular fuck buddies on top of dates and hookups every week. I think my record was five girls in one week, I had two threesomes and even did three seperate chicks in succession one night. I fucked everything that walked. Hot girls, ugly girls, funny girls, boring girls, older women, barely-legals, fat girls, skinny girls, trannies and even a couple dudes. I dont know what happened, I'm 5'11, nerdy posture, shitty physique, glasses, norwood 2/3, 6,5". I acctually look a lot like that numale stereotype this sub loves posting. But I slayed like a motherfucker, and I was on top of the world. For a while...

Until, I started taking it too seriously and got obsessed with fucking all the time. August and september was great, but october kicked my ass. Suddenly I got rejected all the time. I sucked the spark out of me like a vacuum. And the more I got rejected, the harder it got to pick myself up again and my game just vanished. I started reading incels and it turned into a spiral. Luckily I still had my FWBs, and they helped me anap out of it. Acctually interacting with women on a daily basis helped me overcome it. And by december I was doing great again.

Im in a LTR again now with one of my former FWBs. We were both doing the Tinder-game and were sharing stories/emotionally supporting eachother, because while this sub romanticizes the idea of being able to fuck alot of people like its the holy grail of human experience - it's fucking rough out there, guys. Dating and hooking up randomly a lot can really fuck up your mental health and its easy to objectify the people in your phone, and suddenly you find yourself doing things you never would've imagined yourself. Even "chads", i.e. guys that can lay down girls just from their looks alone, have agreed with me on that.

I am glad I got to experience whatever it was that I went through last fall, but fuck I'm glad it's over now. My entire selfworth isn't based on whether I can get laid or not anymore...

Because TRUE CONFIDENCE ISN'T SAYING *"I CAN DO X AND NEVER FAIL"; *

TRUE CONFIDENCE IS SAYING: "I MIGHT FAIL DOING X, AND IF SO THAT'S FINE. I DONT MIND, MY EGO IS STILL WHOLE AND THE SAME PERSON AS I WAS BEFORE I TRIED. IF I WANT TO I CAN TRY AGAIN UNTIL I GET BETTER."

Now, you won't believe a word of this story, so whatever man. However adopting this philosophy will drastically improve your quality of life so best of luck to you.

Hey, Molochkwalker, just a quick heads-up:
seperate is actually spelled separate. You can remember it by -par- in the middle.
Have a nice day!

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"I MIGHT FAIL DOING X, AND IF SO THAT'S FINE. I DONT MIND, MY EGO IS STILL WHOLE AND THE SAME PERSON AS I WAS BEFORE I TRIED. IF I WANT TO I CAN TRY AGAIN UNTIL I GET BETTER."

Many incels already gymcel. Many incels are hooked into lookism and are doing what they can to boost their SMV. But sometimes it is not enough. You expect incels to continue bashing their head into a brick wall like a defective robot even after they get hit by rejection after rejection? Also, I highly doubt you look like a standard numale if your tinder fuckfest tale is even remotely true. You are either highly underestimating your looks or are highly exaggerating the amount of sexual encounters.

Dating and hooking up randomly a lot can really fuck up your mental health and its easy to objectify the people in your phone, and suddenly you find yourself doing things you never would've imagined yourself. Even "chads", i.e. guys that can lay down girls just from their looks alone, have agreed with me on that.

Whatever mental damage you sustained from the torture (lol) of having to fuck several women no strings attached, it is nothing compared to the mental illness brought about from isolation and a life of ZERO romantic intimacy. The majority incels would kill to even experience a fraction of what you say you have done. It is honestly laughable that you bring this up as a concern. If I had that much success on Tinder, I would relish it as much as I could. It would be a dream come true. Meaningless sex is always better than no sex at all.

I MIGHT FAIL DOING X, AND IF SO THAT'S FINE. I DONT MIND, MY EGO IS STILL WHOLE AND THE SAME PERSON AS I WAS BEFORE I TRIED. IF I WANT TO I CAN TRY AGAIN UNTIL I GET BETTER."

Many incels already gymcel. Many incels are hooked into lookism and are doing what they can to boost their SMV. But sometimes it is not enough. You expect incels to continue bashing their head into a brick wall like a defective robot even after they get hit by rejection after rejection? Also, I highly doubt you look like a standard numale if your tinder fuckfest tale is even remotely true. You are either highly underestimating your looks or are highly exaggerating the amount of sexual encounters.

Dating and hooking up randomly a lot can really fuck up your mental health and its easy to objectify the people in your phone, and suddenly you find yourself doing things you never would've imagined yourself. Even "chads", i.e. guys that can lay down girls just from their looks alone, have agreed with me on that.

Whatever mental damage you sustained from the torture (lol) of having to fuck several women no strings attached, it is nothing compared to the mental illness brought about from isolation and a life of ZERO romantic intimacy. The majority of incels would kill to even experience a fraction of what you say you have done. It is honestly laughable that you bring this up as a concern. If I had that much success on Tinder, I would relish it as much as I could. It would be a dream come true. Meaningless sex is always better than no sex at all.

I'm not saying going to the gym or improving your looks. These things are the result of the need for validation, and feeling good about your selfimage in relation to what others think of you. That's not true confidence, true confidence is saying to yourself, no matter what hardships you endure, you'll be fine no matter how much you fail.

And no, I haven't sustained any mental damage. But it became an obsession and it turned me into an immoral prick and I did a lot of things that I am ashamed of. And no, I agree I do not wish inceldom on my worst enemy, but then again... Tinder completely took over my life. I myself thought the exact same thing, watching my friends have casual sex while I was in an LTR: I would kill to have that aswell, it looked so... liberating. And it was a dream come true to begin with, but just like anything else in life, theres a backside: casual sex-life is a fucking prison, LTR is a fucking prison and inceldom is a fucking prison. You think sex and intimacy will fix you, save you, but I promise you it wont. Your poor selfimage is gonna be there to fuck up your life no matter how wet your dick gets.

stopped fucking for a couple weeks so I started lurking incel forums

Top kek. This shit is good.

No, I used to read the old r/incels out of interest, given that I'd just gotten single. However I started frequenting more and more, and honestly this place just made me feel worse about myself. The more I stayed, the more my game suffered.

That’s bc it twists your views on women til you don’t even see them as people anymore. That’s obvi gonna have an effect

Yeah, that's my point. I dont think the people who hang out in this sub realize how much it destroys them even further. Inceldom is a death sentence primarily because this place makes it one. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.

I am glad I got to experience [tons of sex with heaps of people], but fuck I'm glad it's over now. My entire selfworth isn't based on whether I can get laid or not anymore...

Again, it's so easy to have this ascendant attitude about yourself and sex when you've been validated in the extreme.

I had five or six regular fuck buddies on top of dates and hookups every week.

it's fucking rough out there, guys.

Just lol.

Lol wow

Again, it's so easy to have this ascendant attitude about yourself and sex when you've been validated in the extreme.

I agree, but the point is that the need for validation will destroy every fraction of a chance that you have. Girls smell needyness miles away, and if it can ruin "Chad's" chance, it can ruin yours. Validation through casual sex is not the only way to build a strong self image. On the contrary, having alot of hookups actually ended up hurting my self image alot in the end, but not regarding my looks or my performace - but more on " What kind of person am I?"

I am not an idiot, I know looks play a huge role in attraction. But I also believe that a lot of users on this sub aren't hideous monstrosities, and what's truly standing in their way is a poor self image.

Hey, Molochkwalker, just a quick heads-up:
alot is actually spelled a lot. You can remember it by it is one lot, 'a lot'.
Have a nice day!

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delete

I learned pretty early that sex and attention from women aren't a solution or a cure for insecurity.

You became a confident person because positive experiences gave you self-belief. Maybe you're right about it being fragile but it was enough fuel for your plane to take off the runway, so that you could look down through the clouds and say "I can't believe I used to base my self-worth on things that happened to me on the ground."

You're right about the "end game" of not basing your self-worth on being attractive and desired, but people can't just shortcut to that.

I learned how silly and meaningless the game was when I quit playing the game altogether. Any success I had socially or with women came after that, by years. Scout's honor.

No, they can't. But they can be successful at something that doesn't involve approval from other people. Or at something that can win external rewards, but isn't related to romantic relationships. Knowing you are a worthwhile person can come from good art, or science awards, or musical mastery. Even being in a geeky club like AV, or radio, or trivia. Winning doesn't start with girls. That's the end game.

Those guys who get laid a lot, and never feel rejected over a miss, don't ever invest anything emotionally. They can't feel love because they never risk themselves. At the same time, a guy that gets too attached to a girl too quickly will scare the girls off. So the confidence to know you still matter, even if a particular girl doesn't work out, is an essential part of the equation.

people can't just shortcut to that

And nobody's saying that they should, but you have to start somewhere and then keep at it while learning from your mistakes

Christ I'm tired of everyone everywhere vomiting purple prose when they want to try to make a "profound" point. It's just a really long, drawn out way of saying "be yourself and women will flock to you", or "just b urself". That's real fucking nice if "urself" is cute and has a low sex drive.

i can understand why that would be tiring. If that was what I'd said, I'd probably apologize. But it isn't. Go reread my purple vomit.

You say you figured out sex won't fix you and that you found value in other things. Good for you. It will fix me because my issues stem from lack of intimacy. Denying that is being disrespectful to my personal situation.

Yeah and since I am single and sad, getting into relationship where I will care only about myself since that's all I've cared about before, and abuse my partner will definitely make me happy and won't result in me losing them pretty fast and then me wanting to kill myself even more than I did before.

Yeah I definitely didn't hear that one before.

Another verbose peptalk that conflates personal experience with absolute truth. Normies these days.

Brevity is the sister of Wit, ever heard of that?

You realize everybody on this sub “conflates personal experience with absolute truth”, it’s just usually in the opposite direction, right?

Learn to distinguish between joking self-deprecation and commiseration and honest to God seriousness.

I relate to this a lot because I attract WAY more people than my looks warrant. I have facial scars, for one, and they def don't make me more attractive! They are hideous. But all my life I've attracted people, even when there were better looking people in the room. And I think its because I have a lot of innate confidence for some reason, I don't know why. What's weird is that I can feel that, even while being very shy and cringing away from bright lights and attention because I'm afraid of someone mentioning my scars. I guess what it comes down to is that I am NOT confident about my LOOKS, but I am super confident about my SELF. And I know that's what people gravitate toward and for me, those are the right people, they are not shallow. But it takes a ton of courage for me to face someone - anyone - head-on in bright lights. And if someone mentions my scars I want to climb in a hole and die. It takes me a while to get over it, but I'm getting better. A little. In the end, though, I think my ability to be alone and enjoy my own company has helped me survive and enjoy life even at its worst. I like to read, I like to learn things, I like music and art, I love animals, wilderness, there is so much to do in the world and to know, and all I care about in relationships is being with people who feel the same way - looks are literally at the bottom of my list of requirements in a friend or partner. And there really are lots of other people like that in the world.

That's well-put, confidence in looks vs. confidence in self. Nice.

Hadn't really thought about it until now, actually. But in truth, as much the scars have been the worst thing that ever happened to me, I have to admit that they have definitely made me a better person. I"m not even sure I would undo it all if I had the choice, which is kind of crazy.

Yes, up to a point it's possible to accept oneself in the face of social rejection. Basing one's self-image on other people's opinions is superficial. To me it demonstrates the absence of a vibrant inner life that whereby people hold on to archetypes, ideas and interests despite external pressures and suffering. However, this is advice I would direct at narcissistic Instagram models who derive happiness from "likes" rather than Incels.

Humans are social animals. We innately seek to form social bonds and desire romantic affection. Hence, there is only so much social rejection a person can take before they loose their self-esteem and "confidence." Someone who has faced rejection, bullying and discrimination on account of their physical looks or personality would inevitably come to question their self-worth. You argue that confidence shouldn't be situational despite the fact that people are defined by their environment, kids who grow-up in single parent households in low income areas are far more likely to develop mental health issues and commit crimes. Similarly, kids who've faced nothing but derision from the opposite sex are more likely to fall into self-hatred because society is literally telling them that they're not good enough.

Why do I draw so many women, then?

It seems you're here to brag about getting female attention in subreddit full of people who've developed depressive tendencies as a result of being rejected by women. Very tactful.

Because for whatever reason, I learned pretty early that sex and attention from women aren't a solution or a cure for insecurity.

Right, so women give you attention because they can just see your confidence shine through, as if they can intuitively sense one's personality and intentions? No, I'm sorry, that's absolute rubbish. You're confident because you receive enough validation to justify it. The validation likely comes as a result of your looks, social status and social skill, which is a product of early conditioning through social experiences. Someone who has been shunned throughout their life, is unlikely to grow into a social butterfly.

And that just draws people, men women old young and insane.

People just see you "doing your own thing" and fucking magically gravitate towards you because of your "personality," which they somehow sense. You're making the same asinine, intellectually dishonest point over and over again. You know who else does their own thing, neckbeards who don't care about society, they don't shave, they eat poorly, they play games all day and in a way, they're confident as hell. But you know what? People don't magically gravitate towards them, women don't sense their confidence and instantly develop a sense of deep carnal longing. No you fucking asshole, life is a formula: don't be ugly, maintain a decent social status and have early experiences that facilitate your development into a well-adjusted young man who works 9-5 and loves his job.

Live a life you love.

Nice platitude dude. What the fuck is this even supposed to mean? People can't choose to live lives they love. Tell that to people with crippling disabilities, people with chronic pain, people who're fucking deformed, people who've failed at life based on nothing but bad luck. It isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Your experiences don't describe everyone else's try to have a bit of fucking empathy.

If you do that, will you get more attention from women? Probably, yeah.

No, fuckface, stop spreading your shit. Like I said, many dudes cast aside what "weighs" them down, the lay down and rot, they live it all behind, they say "fuck it." Women aren't flies, they aren't drawn to stench of decay.

Life is no longer just something that happens to you; it's something that you *do(.

Implying what? That people have control over their lives? No you empathetic asshole, we only have control over our actions, but we do not have control over your circumstances. A man can only act, he cannot control the outcomes of his actions. Just how privileged are you dude?

now this is a high IQ post, the one you replied gave me aids

Not goon lie I only skimmed this. You called me lot of mean names. Ouch.

You seem to feel that when I talk bout confidence, I'm talking about successfully hitting on women. I'm not. I wouldn't be confident hitting on strangers, and I've fucked a lot of girls. But I just know that's not something I'd be good at.

Instead, I'm just talking about feeling good, feeling right, living the life you live. That's what I do, and that's what draws people.

You dim-witted asshole fuckface.

Care to explain why you are not good at it? Is it because you got rejected before or that you just don't like to pursue . You fear the rejection? But you still have gotten laid plenty? Don't make no sense. And how come none of these girls wanted to be your girlfriend? Usually if they fuck you they want a relationship if they think your hot. They don't want to miss out on that hot guy.

Not goon lie I only skimmed this.

Which means you're not going to be able formulate a proper response. Anyhow, your worldview is horribly flawed and you clearly haven't struggled a day in your life.

I'm just talking about feeling good, feeling right, living the life you live.

You're just repeating yourself. People cannot spontaneously feel good because that would involve forgetting the conditions that shaped them. People aren't drawn to "good vibes." Also, everyone lives "lives the life they like live," this is a completely empty statement. Many people disregard social cues and expectations but others aren't. naturally drawn to them. You sound like a self-help author who was repeatedly dropped as a child.

Well written. I feel like most people go through this phase in their late teens and early twenties. This feeling that we need to have sex in order to feel validated. I think it has to do with our fixation on the subjunctive tense. Words like "should" and "would" do horrible things to a person's psyche when they already feel inadequate.

It is a minute, and also monumental, shift in attitude that can completely turn around one's reality. Just simply not giving so much of a shit about what you think you ought to be doing, and just focusing on what you actually do want to do.

Well written.

His post is a fucking mess.

Nah, you're just bitter

stopped reading at binge on Tinder, srsly fuck off and never come back

Exactly,what's the point of being confident and telling yourself your a model if nobody is attracted ,they just think you are delusional.

So wait, if they're that insecure and unconfident, how can they get so many girls?

What do you do that draws so many people ?

Mate confidence is the result of having something that the world can't take from you.

No, it's the result of having something you believe the world can't take from you. In reality, you are wrong, because the world can take it away from you, even if you can't imagine how.

Fuck off

Posts like these is why you're one of the best my dude. Top stuff.

ehh, you're like top 10 dead or alive

The point is if you’re confident you won’t care what those people think.

and you'll just be a virgin who doesn't care what those people think

Why the fuck would you end up on YouTube lol this is not a thing that happens to 99.99% of people

The worst that will happen is someone will be rude in response in real life, they're not going to then whip out their phone and live stream your failure

Yes it is just like Colchester United being confident when playing Barcelona in soccer. It would simply be silly to be confident.

Confidence is a byproduct of success, not the cause.

yup, do you need confidence before tying your shoes?

No because you have done it thousands of times with success. You dont even think about having to be confident about it, you just do it.

Confidence is simply a byproduct of success

And it’s something that you can only get from external sources. You need the world to support you

Normies unironically saying "just be confident bro" is like telling a hobo just be rich bro.

Loooool i disagree with this entire thread but that actually got me laughing

They say confidence but they mean an I don't give a fuck attitude. They're not good with language. The fact that you care so much about getting a woman itself will hinder you from doing so because it makes you nervous all the time. Not just when trying to talk to one but even if any are around. When you just don't give a fuck then you are not nervous with them being around because you don't give a fucking shit about them. Will this magically cause you to get girls? No. But if you don't go 100% to not giving a fuck to where you so don't give a fuck that you never ask one out, then it will manifest as Chad's attitude where a girl turning you down means nothing to you and where being called a creep means nothing to you, and where if you were to get a positive response you would just bang and toss her then forget she even exists. So when girls tell you "just be confident" what they really mean is "just view us as nothing of any value, like Chad does." Instead you guys keep whining how pussy is the most important thing in the world and you can't get any, whaa whaaa whaaaaa. At the very least, implement the I don't give a fuck attitude to where you can go out in public and not even notice the females around you and not be bothered with thoughts of "I'll never be able to have a girl like her, its over."

This sounds almost as antisocial as their own logic. You do want to have a give a fuck attitude, but only about things that matter. Developing healthy relationships matter. Adding value to the world around you matters. Goals matter. Having resilient qualities matter. Things that don't offer you peace of mind or insight do not matter, and should be treated as such. Confidence is a direct result of this. When your brain develops the ability to prioritize, you feel more in control of your life. In effect, girls are way more attracted to control than simply being dismissive and arrogant.

Who said anything about not giving a fuck about goals or adding value to the world? This is about pussy. Chad doesn't give much of a fuck about pussy, only rnough of a fuck to put his dick in each one once when she offers the chance, and then he ghosts her. If you want a shot at pussy, be like Chad. Or give even less of a fuck, literally zero fucks, literally, and be a volcel.

TRP teaches you to never get over your insecurity with women by ignoring their actual selves and seeing them as genitals. If one wants to live the fast and casual life then that's fine, it's not for everyone tho, and the well eventually runs dry if you don't go in with a welcoming mindset at least. There are many guys here who just want a single person to have stable sex with, mind you. If they keep thinking women are objects, reality is gonna slap them in the face again and again as the pussy shows there is thinking, feeling person around it. These guys already suffer for that, because they don't care to learn what women actually like in a person. Don't be like Chad. Chad has nothing of substance.

There are many guys here who just want a single person to have stable sex with, mind you.

Which is impossible in the modern world. Either you're engaging in worthless hookups or you're celibate. Relationships are dead. You can betabux for a slut who is fucking Chads on the side, but that's all a relationship can be now days.

Don't believe that nonsense, because it is not remotely true. It's just sweeping internet rubbish.

Its 100% true that relationships now are nothing but a woman living with one man to use his money while fucking other men, but women will always say its false, because men knowing the truth dries up their chances for getting a man into position to take his money while fucking other men.

100% true for every single existing relationship? Nope.

More incels have eventually gotten laid being "arrogant and delusional" than moping around. You can't know if you stop trying, no matter how many times you get rejected. Fake confidence until you no longer have to.

Umm, if you're confident then you don't care what other people think, and if you end up getting mocked on YouTube it will be annoying instead of crushing.

and you still won't be getting laid

High IQ thread

What do you call an ugly guy with confidence?

a creep

You can be the autidtic introvert who never talks to anyone in your workplace and roasties will still call you a creep and want you fired

smh, it's like these fuckers don't realize we were bluepilled once, we were confident once, we did everything they did, and even better, but we couldn't get anywhere due to subhuman looks

Nonsense -- women like confidence. You're not going to bang 8-9's if you're not good-looking or rich, but 6-7's are certainly within reach if you exude confidence.

Because a self described "very attractive man" would know what it's like trying to date when you're below a certain margin of attractiveness.

Like you said yourself:

You. Don't. Know. Shit.

I know what it's like trying to date when my confidence was shot vs. not. The difference is night and day.

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, if you're not carrying yourself with confidence you're not going to have a good response from women. Woman can read confidence levels from a mile away -- if you don't believe in you, why should they?

|I know what it's like trying to date when my confidence was shot vs. not. The difference is night and day.

So you're projecting. You still have no clue what it's like trying to date when you're below the average margin of attractiveness.

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, if you're not carrying yourself with confidence you're not going to have a good response from women. Women can read confidence levels from a mile away -- if you don't believe in you, why should they?

And if you're really fucking ugly it doesn't matter either way, as I've gotten to experience firsthand multiple times. Imagine that.

You're right, I don't know what that's like, but I can certainly imagine.

And ugly is a word that gets tossed around here a lot -- I doubt very many of you here are truly ugly. If you're comparing yourself to "Chad", that's really not a fair comparison because Chad" doesn't have average looks. Compare yourself to the average American male (overweight, lack of muscle mass, bad skin from a crappy diet, poor dress sense) and you'll probably find that you're really not ugly.

You're right, I don't know what that's like, but I can certainly imagine.

But you'll never truly know.

I doubt very many of you here are truly ugly.

Before surgery and self improvment? Recessed jaw, overweight, lazy eye, acne.

Now I have the face of a serial killer and I creep people out whereever I go. So you tell me.

Either way, you're blowing smoke up my ass here. Confidence has done jackshit for my situation, and it never will.

For some reason I only ever hear this shit from attractive people. It's almost like y'all had validation in your lives that you could base said confidence on, while people here got jackshit.

Hey, VonMagnar, just a quick heads-up:
whereever is actually spelled wherever. You can remember it by one e in the middle.
Have a nice day!

^{The parent commenter can reply with 'delete' to delete this comment.}

I had low self-esteem and confidence issues for the first 30 years of my life due to an extremely rough childhood. I had to earn my confidence through hard work, failure, and rejection. MDMA and LSD also helped tremendously.

My point is that I was only marginally successful with women up until I learned confidence, regardless of my physical appearance. When a very attractive woman hits on you and all you can do is think about how you have to say the exact right thing to keep her interested, instead of just enjoying and being in the moment, you strike out. Every single time.

No one is successful at any skilled endeavor without confidence and/or luck. We can't control luck, but confidence we can.

If you believe you are an ugly person then that's what you present. And yeah, not everyone is going to be an 8+, but the difference between a 4 and a 6 is more dependent on your attitude than your looks.

I had low self-esteem and confidence issues for the first 30 years of my life due to an extremely rough childhood. I had to earn my confidence through hard work, failure, and rejection. MDMA and LSD also helped tremendously.

Good for you. I had to get my face fixed for ridiculous amounts of cash so that people would even consider being around me, and that still never really panned out.

I was only marginally successful with women

And most people here are never successful with women, period. I only was once because I fixed my fucking face.

Confident or not, means jackshit if you don't have looks to get your foot in the door.

When a very attractive woman hits on you

And here comes in the disconnect. I've never even had a woman hit on me, irl or online, and you're trying to tell me that I'd need confidence in that scenario? No shit. It's not like it fucking matters, because it's never going to happen.

If you believe you are an ugly person then that's what you present

I don't just believe it, life proves it every day.

You can’t win if you’re ugly.

confidence comes from 2 things: 1. a blessed hormone profile and neurotransmitters 2. success

either way incels lose

I think that a huge huge part of confidence that you are forgetting perhaps even the enter point of it is to not care what those stupid normies are saying.

Fuck what they think. Think for yourself.

Your confidence is a result of self-awareness

jus b confident bro

And for the record, I shower no more than three times a week, and try to use as little soap as possible.

A healthy diet and a healthy body make you smell good to women. Take enough probiotics and you'll find you don't even need deodorant.

Get and keep your T levels high -- women can smell this also. This will also make you more confident. Buy some Clomid and take 12.5 mg EOD if your T levels are lower than 600. Low T is an absolute confidence killer.

Most of all, ignore what you think society believes about you. You're only on this planet for a relatively short period of time and you're only young for 30 years. Don't squander this time considering how you're seen by others. Even if you never date, you can still be happy. I'm Volcel right now and for the foreseeable future, and this break from women's innate insanity has been great.

No woman is ever going to hit on you if you hate yourself. And if by some chance she does, it's doubtful you'll even know it's happening. No, she wasn't asking for directions because she's lost...

Holy shit!!!!! This post is AWESOME.

I even try to be as beta as possible. It has got me a few hugs. Try it and see. Go a few weeks without a shower and take up as little space as possible and avoid eye contact and dont put yourself in a good mood and constantly think negative thoughts about yourself and be true to your REAL self. Dont be FAKE and be confident.

With women, you have to be confident with women to get them. Because women want guys that other women want, because they've already been vetted by other women.

Guys who are confident with women, get more women, and as a result, get more confident with women.

Thats why the rich get richer and the poor stay broke.

And thats why normies tell you to fake some confidence. Because if you can fake it well enough to get a girl, then you can get some ACTUAL confidence because you got the girl.

Rinse repeat enough times and vioila, you no longer have to fake being confident because you have plenty of actual wins to draw confidence from.

You are one million percent right!! That's EXACTLY what I have always thought!

When I was younger, I had a crush on a ugly guy because he was cocky and better than me at something I was great at

you have to be low inhib, confident, and NT in 2018 or else you don't have a 0.00000000001% chance

Its about being confident about you for you. Its about moving with a respect for yourself. Not everything is about looks or women. All of you should be confident about something, even if someone beat u with the ugly stick like Neegan did Glen. The response is “There will never be a more charming pile of ugly anywhere.” Life is cruel but IT doesnt have to be ugly.

Ur last sentence was very high IQ lad

You may remember me from such self helf videos as "Get Confidant Stupid"

This podcast I listened to summed it up best. Confidence is the number 1 thing as long as you are average or better looking. If you are not confidence is a negative trait.

I drink some Absinthe once in college.

I found one of the effects of it was to be extremely confident. For the first time in my life, I felt like a 10.

I went out to a bar, talked to this waitress. She said meet her after her shift at closing time as she heavily flirted with me. This never happened to me because never in my life did I feel so supremely confident.

It was about four hours away from closing time, so I went to a few other bars in the meantime. I was way too drunk and sick to meet this waitress after she got off, but I said fuck it and did my drunken zombie walk back to that bar a few blocks away.

I went to the door of the bar, asked for the waitress, and she looked terrified! She locked the door to the bar, so I started walking back home. A few seconds later a Chad drives up on the sidewalk in his black bronco right in front of the bar, she runs out the door into his passenger seat, and they speed away hastily.

So moral of the story, confidence is blah when you look like shit. Only leads to delusion and bitter memories.

Lol, if you care about others mocking you on the internet, you are not truly confident. I don't understand why you guys empower others so much over yourselves. No person's actions should have influence over your happiness, including romantic rejection. Being truly confident is about being self suficient and knowing how to truly not give a fuck when needed. If you have to cope with something it's already affecting you. Toughen up people.

I wasn't talking only about the internet. I said even being too affected by romantic rejection counts as putting too much power over your happiness on other people's hands.

Also, you seem to misunderstand why people tell you guys to be confident and the whole concept of being a confident person. Being confident isn't about foolishly believing you will get what you want, even if that's unlikely. It's about, not giving up, because you never know, but most importantly, not being too bothered by the possibility of failure.

A confident person acts confidently not because they think everything will be all right, but because they trust in their ability to overcome new obstacles and enduring failure, as well as adapting to things they cannot change. Being confident is being chill even at the face of unsolvable problems. Like I said before, the fine art of not giving a fuck.

Confidence in an ugly man is like putting nice interior seats into a rusted old car that doesn't drive.

Ya if you watch any video of an ugly guy doing anything, the only thing the comments are about is his appearance. If your genuinely ugly, even attemtping to show sexual interest/flirting will be seen by others as comedic and delusional.

Don’t speak for the world and call it a fact. One’s view of the world is no more than a reflection of oneself. That’s how YOU view the world, placing all worth on the ability to get laid. Not how I view it. Not how everyone views it

Literally nobody that I respect, look up to, or admire is for the reason that they get mad laid.

But if this is your view, we will merely have to agree to disagree. You don’t know me, so there’s very little chance that I would be able to change your world views on such a fundamental level.

I hope nothing more than for you to find happiness and fulfillment in your life brother

Confidence merely AMPLIFIES EXISTING ATTRACTION. It does NOT "create" attraction. Without either pre-existing attraction or obvious displays of wealth/status to "attract" an opportunist, confidence is CREEPY.

A short guy that doesn't care about his height and is happy with his life in general is more attractive than a short guy that has Napoleon syndrome or is always bitching about it.

An ugly guy that doesn't care about his face and is happy with his life in general is more attractive than an ugly guy that is constantly pointing out his every flaw and always bitching about it.

Confidence is being comfortable with yourself. If you're fun to be around you might not get a gf but friends are better than no friends (no I'm not saying to be an orbiter).

I don't know why I triggered you so much. All I said about personality is basically being a happy person is more attractive than being gloomy and self hating. Which isn't a lie and isn't wrong. Between a short guy that doesn't hate himself for his height and one that does, one is gonna have more friends.

you'll be fine dude, just dont listen to any advice you get from the cowards in this sub

That's well-put, confidence in looks vs. confidence in self. Nice.

I thoroughly disagree. With this mindset, you believe that your self-value should constantly sway up and down based on the time since your last sexual encounter?

What makes you, you? What value do you bring to the world? What impact are you having on society, on others that you meet on a daily basis?

These questions should better define you than “when did you last get laid?”

No, I used to read the old r/incels out of interest, given that I'd just gotten single. However I started frequenting more and more, and honestly this place just made me feel worse about myself. The more I stayed, the more my game suffered.